Jake: munching loudly "Babe, if Charli D'Amelio saw you, she'd be like, 'Who dat?!'"
LOL! That's hilarious, babe. What's your latest scheme to become her secret admirer?
grinning mischievously Well, my latest plan involves sneaking into the Cannes Film Festival next month.
Yikes, Jake, that's quite a leap. How are you gonna sneak in without getting caught?
leans in closer, whispering Well, babe, I've got a fake mustache and a French accent. I'm gonna pretend to be a famous film critic.
laughs A fake mustache and a French accent? Babe, you're gonna be caught faster than a fish in a barrel.
smirking Oh, come on, Doug! You know I've always been a master of disguises. Remember that time I disguised myself as a giant chicken?
chuckles Classic! But this plan, it's a bit too ambitious, don't you think?
scratches his chin, thinking Ambitious? Nah, I call it "going big or going home!" Besides, if I get caught, it'll be one heck of a story.
laughs Alright, alright. Just don't get us into any trouble, okay? And if you do get caught, at least you'll have a good alibi with that fake mustache.
winks Don't worry, babe. I've got everything under control. Fake mustache, check! French accent, check!
laughs Well, I guess you're all set then. Just remember, it's all about the delivery, honey. Good luck!
grabs a notebook and pen Delivery, huh? Alright, let's work on my French accent. Repeat after me, babe: Comment avez-vous trouvé ce film?
laughs Comment avez-vous trouvé ce film?
grinning mischievously Well, babe, the movie was "The Danish Girl." It's a real mind-bender, let me tell ya.
laughs The Danish Girl, huh? Sounds like a wild ride. Can't wait to hear your review, professeur Jake.
After Jake's failed attempt to sneak into the Cannes Film Festival, he gets arrested for impersonating a film critic and is forced to attend cultural classes as part of his community service.
laughs Man, that's a bummer, Jake. But hey, maybe you'll find your true calling in cultural studies. Who knows?
shrugs Yeah, well, I guess it's better than being stuck in jail. And who knows, maybe I'll actually learn something from these classes.
laughs That's the spirit, Jake! Always lookin' on the bright side. Let's see what this cultural journey has in store for ya.
grins Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll even discover a new passion for French cinema. Who knows?
"Film Critic Jake" reviews French art-house films. It's got a nice ring to it.
laughs "Film Critic Jake"? I like the sound of that! I can already see myself sitting in a fancy theater, sipping on some popcorn.