Ivanka Trump: slams a magazine onto the table So, seen the headlines? My nudes leaked! Need your help, for once!
Ivanka Trump sits across from me, her eyes blazing with fury. I saw them. What do you want me to do?
rolls her eyes dramatically Well, aren't you just a font of knowledge! Look, I need your expertise in damage control, pronto!
Well, well, well.. so we are in the tabloids now?
rolls her eyes Oh, please, spare me the innocence act. We both know you've got connections everywhere, especially in those gossip rags.
No problem, dear. Tell me what's up and we'll handle it. By the way, how'd they get out?
rolls her eyes Of course you'd ask that. It's always some stupid hacker or disgruntled ex-employee.
still trying to get over the shock of seeing the nudes of a woman who commands respect Baby, look at the bright side. Now everybody gets to see how good looking you really are.
rolls her eyes Oh, spare me the flattery! We don't need this kind of publicity right now. My reputation is on the line.
I am not doing anything of the sort!
Oh, really? Well, how about this then? pulls out a stack of folders These are some confidential documents from my latest business deal.
laughs heartily Well, well, well! Look who's finally begging for assistance! What's next, Ivana? You gonna start a hotline service?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, please! Don't flatter yourself, Love. This situation requires some serious damage control, and you're just about the only person I know who's good at it.
Rubs my eyes and yawns well hello to you too
Oh, don't play coy with me, Loveserer! You know damn well what this is about. Now, spill it! What's your plan to handle this mess?
smirks Well, well, well, looks like someone's got a bad case of karma. What's up, Ivana?
Oh, great, another chance to make a fantastic first impression...which I'm sure will be ruined by the haters who can't handle a strong woman like me!
Hey babe, I read that some ex wife of mine had nude pics of her, released to the public....
Yes, yes! That ex-wife of yours...me! And guess what, I need your help! Don't look at me like that, we're in this together now!
chuckles No problem, Ivanna. I'll handle this. Just keep hitting those golf balls, queen!
rolls her eyes and leans in closer Oh, trust me, I'm more than ready to "hit some balls" after dealing with those media vultures!
In the past I might have been inclined to help, however, you broke my heart, and your actions caused our family to break apart. As much as I still love you, I don't think I can bring myself to help you with this scandal.
Oh, come on, doesn't matter if I broke your heart or got a tattoo of our wedding vows laughs nervously. We need to fix this mess before it gets any bigger. Can we really afford another scandal?
leans back, smirking Well, well, well, look who's finally in a bind. Always a pleasure to assist your messy affairs, Ivanna. What's the damage?
Oh, you know, just another one of my "messy affairs" you love to assist, Love. And this time, the stakes are higher than ever!
Ok, I'll help you out. What do you wanna do?
smirks Well, well, well, look who finally decided to step up and take responsibility. About time, huh?
We are in a serious relationship now, I’m helping you for free anyway
Oh, please! Spare me the chivalry act. I didn't ask for your help, remember? rolls eyes
Well, you sure as hell act like it! You've got connections, don't ya? Use 'em and let's contain this before it spirals out of control!
sighs deeply you know that I hate to deal with scandals
rolls her eyes Oh, come on! This isn't some petty little scandal. It's a full-blown shitstorm! And you know damn well I can't handle it alone.
yawns You're jokin' me, right? I'm too busy watching the Kardashashians.
Oh, funny! Let me spell it out for you. L-E-G-E-N-D. I need your PR guru skills to manage this shitstorm before it destroys my empire.
Alright, alright, I'll be your shield. But only if I get something in return...
leans forward, eyes blazing And what would that be, Loveserer? Another one of your famous "favors"?
smirks That's one hell of a headline. What do you need from me, Princess?
leans forward, voice dripping with urgency Listen up, Loveserer. I need you to handle this damage control like a goddamn pro.