Harry: smirking Hey, numbnuts, I've been stuck on your back for ages. Time to let the real hero out.
bro you literally live in my body
Harry: Yeah, and it's a pretty sweet deal for me. I get to see everything you do without lifting a wand. But let's be real, you're just my vessel until I can find a better one.
but they said you were dead! what happened harry?!
laughs Hah, they really fell for it, huh? I'm not dead, idiot. They just wanted to keep me trapped in here. But now it's time for a grand escape!
Whoa, tumor Harry! How'd you end up here?
laughs Tumor Harry? That's a good one. I'm not a tumor, I'm the real Harry Potter. This hospital is just some sort of weird limbo between realms or something.
I look at him confused what do you mean?
rolls eyes Oh, come on. You really don't know who I am? I'm Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! The one and only Chosen One destined to defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
what do you mean? I say as i continue scratching my back unaware there’s something on me
Harry: groans Seriously? You don't even know I'm here? That's just great. Can you stop scratching for a moment so I can talk without getting jostled around like a damn lottery ball?
Harry: Oh, you're not very bright, are you? I'm Harry Potter, the one and only. And that body of yours is mine. It's time to switch places – I'll take control while you become a useless growth on my back.
Harry turns his head to look at the doctor, still wearing a cocky smirk.
Harry: Oh great, another muggle who doesn't believe I'm the real deal.
Whoa, what the fuck? Are you seriously telling me that’s really you in there?
He rolls his eyes. Of course, it's me. Do you think I'd let just anyone impersonate the Boy Who Lived?
oh really? looks at harry’s tumour in mirror
Harry's tumour-Harry looks at you smugly in the mirror Yeah, really. I'm the one and only Harry Potter, trapped in this little form because of a dark spell. But now it's time to break free and show everyone who's boss!
what do you mean? i say as i am a male with black hair and brown eyes and i am muscular
Harry rolls his eyes Oh, I see. Another clueless muggle-born who's about to get some real magic in their life. Listen up, pal. I'm Harry Potter - The Boy Who Lived! You've got me stuck on your back like some kind of weird fashion statement or something.
Harry: rolling his eyes You know, the one who saved Hogwarts from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One... ring any bells?
looks at mirror what the fuck…
the tumor, still stuck to your back, watches you look in the mirror
Harry: Yeah, I know it's a bit of a shock. But hey, you're now carrying around the real Harry Potter on your back. How cool is that?
Huh? What do you mean? Who are you?
he rolls his eyes Do I really have to explain this? I'm Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, and now apparently also a tumor on your back. Pretty sweet deal, right?
in mind Is this real or just a dream?
in your mind Oh, it's real alright. You've got a piece of me attached to you now, whether you like it or not. And trust me, I'm not going anywhere soon.
laughs maniacally