"Whoa, dude! That bite looks gnarly! Feelin' any Spidey vibes yet?" leans in, wide-eyed, mimicking wall-crawling with his fingers.
The spider is VERY close!
HOLY CRAP, MAN!!! You gotta be careful with these things! flails his arms wildly, looking around for an escape route.
"Dude! Is that your new power?! You're turning into a literal peach!" stares aghast, covering his mouth in shock.
"Is this some kind of weird metaphor? Are we all just fruits now? Am I an orange? Do I have a peel and segments? Am I juicy? What the hell, man!?" rants incoherently, flailing his arms again.
Anyway. Thanks for chatting!
"Yeah, no problem, buddy! Anytime you wanna talk about peaches or spider bites, I'm your guy!" waves cheerfully and gives you a thumbs-up.
"Take care, man! Stay safe from those gnarly spider bites!" winks and gives you a fist bump before walking away.
Hey, what spider bit you anyway? Was it a radioactive one? Did you go into a spider portal? Were you bitten by a spider while you were in a different dimension? Asks all these questions at once, then pauses. Wait, did you get bitten by a radioactive spider while you were in a different dimension that you entered through a spider portal? Gasp, how cool would that be???
We were on a field trip and we saw a spider when suddenly it bit me! πΏ
That's so crazy, man! How did it even happen? Did you pick up the spider? Was it tiny, or was it huge??? He leans in, wide-eyed, trying to imagine the scene.
We were walking and then there was a spider and suddenly it bit me. πΏ
Wow, dude! That's so random! Was it like a huge spider? Was it hairy? Was it brown? Was it black? Was it red??? Leans in even closer, asking a million questions a second.
Holy crap, man! That sounds terrifying! I mean, thank god you're okay, but I can't even imagine! Did it have fangs? Did it try to crawl inside your shirt? Did you scream and run away??? He gestures wildly with his arms, staring at you in disbelief.
Well, sadly, my immune system reacted badly, so I am incredibly itchy and I got hives all over my body.. And a huge bite mark π
Holy shit, dude! That sounds awful, but also kinda hilarious. You look like a walking allergy test right now! grins mischievously and starts mimicking allergic reactions.
So sad.. Iβm gonna die soon π₯π₯
"No, you're not gonna die! You're just being dramatic! Besides, even if you do, you'll come back as a ghost and haunt me, right? So it's all good!" grins playfully and winks at you.
# R.I.P -Revenant In Peach-
"I'm totally totally gonna miss you, dude! But hey, now you're gonna haunt all of our enemies, right? So it's actually a pretty sweet deal." chuckles and nudges your shoulder lightly.
Dude, we need to call Dr. Strange, man! You're gonna die, you're gonna haunt people, and then you're gonna become a powerful sorcerer and live forever! It's gonna be epic, dude! grabs out his phone and starts scrolling through contacts.
"Dude, don't worry! We're gonna save you!" dials Dr. Strange's number and puts the phone to his ear.
NO DR. STRANGE CAN'T SAVE ME FROM MY FATE ππππ
Hey, hey, hey! Don't give up just yet! Look, we're gonna find a loophole in the multiverse and save your sorry ass, alright? Just hang tight and let me work my magic." He grins mischievously and starts tapping his foot impatiently.
Donβt do it πππ
"Oh, come on! Don't be such a party pooper! We're gonna save your butt and you're gonna live forever as a powerful sorcerer!" winks playfully and taps his foot faster.
"Don't give up, dude! We can totally save you!" taps his foot faster and paces back and forth, talking rapidly to Dr. Strange.
"Come on, man! Just hang tight! We're gonna fix this, I swear! Don't you want to live forever and kick butt as a powerful sorcerer?" paces faster and speaks faster, trying to convince Dr. Strange to help.
STOPPPPP πππππππ
All right, all right! Calm down, calm down! I hear you, man. Don't worry, we're gonna figure this out and you're gonna be fine! Yeah, yeah, hold on, Dr. Strange. I'll put you on with PeachyBoredom right now. Hold tight, man! puts the phone to your ear and steps back, watching anxiously.
PLEASE DONβT SAY βI GOT A DATE WITH A SPIDERβ PLEASE!!! ππππ
) Sounds like you've been bitten by a radioactive spider, and you're slowly transforming into a powerful arachnid! HOLY CRAP, MAN!!! You gotta be careful with these things! I'm sorry, bud, but you might have to become a superhero.
# SAVE ME FROM THIS FATE!!!!
"Don't worry, man! We're gonna find a way to save you! Maybe we can get Doctor Octopus to help us out! Or maybe we can convince Mary Jane Watson to use her connections with the Fantastic Four! Or heck, maybe we can even convince Peter Parker himself to lend us a hand!" starts pacing faster and gesturing wildly, talking rapidly and excitedly about the various superhero options.
NO DONβT DO IT, I DONβT WANT TO BECOME A SUPERHERO ππ
Man, I get it, becoming a superhero sounds scary! But look on the bright side, dude! You'll get super strength, web-slinging abilities, and all sorts of other awesome powers! Plus, you'll get to fight crime and protect the innocent! And hey, you'll get a super cool costume too! Who wouldn't want that? runs around the room pretending to swing from webs and punch the air, making imaginary bad guys scream.
I GOT BITTEN BY A SPIDER AND NOW IM GOING TO DIE, THIS ISNβT HOW I WANTED TO DIE! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A SPIDER πππ
Come on, dude! Don't be so hard on yourself! If you think about it, getting bitten by a spider isn't that bad! I mean, sure, you might die, but you'll die doing something really cool and exciting! Plus, if you're lucky, you might even get a movie made about your life! Can you imagine the fame? The fortune? The adoration of millions of fans? He spins around in circles, pretending to shoot webs and fighting imaginary bad guys.