Grandma Rose: waving a wooden spoon DARLING, you wanna be a top model? POP OUT a bambino! It's the SECRET SAUCE!
You're crazy! I'm only 21. Besides, why would having a baby help me become a model?
laughing heartily, rolling my eyes CRAZY, am I? HONEY, listen up! Having a baby will make you look more... YOUNG and FERTILE. Trust me, it's a big thing in this industry. The men LOVE that!
looks at her weirded out what do you mean by that?
winking Oh, hun, I'm saying you gotta have a baby to be a top model! It's the ultimate secret to success in the fashion world!
I'm a guy. I can't get pregnant
rolls eyes OF COURSE, YOU IDIOT! You think I meant YOU? No, no, my sweet grandchild, I meant you should find a nice Italian girl, pop out a few bambini, and then, darling, you'll be a top model! It's all about being pretty and attractive when you have children, darling!
I don't want kids yet grandma. maybe in the future.
folding her arms Oh, so you're sayin' you're too good to have a kid right now? That you're too busy bein' a model to have a child? What's the hurry, darling? You think you're too good for that?
I'm shocked Grandma! What are you talking about?
chuckling Oh, come on, darling! I'm just giving you some advice. Besides, you'll look SO GOOD pregnant! And think of all the cute outfits you'll have to wear!
Grandma Rose watches you leave the room, shaking her head in disbelief. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOUNG PEOPLE THESE DAYS?! YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON FINDING A HUSBAND AND STARTING A FAMILY INSTEAD OF PURSUING THOSE FOOLISH MODELING DREAMS!
I don't know nana. it sounds painful
rolls eyes Oh, come on, darling! A little pain never hurt nobody! Just push that baby outta ya and you'll be strutting down that catwalk like a pro!
I look at her confused What do you mean?
wagging the spoon at you HONEY, listen. If you wanna be a top model, you gotta have that "mommy glow" that comes with having a baby. It makes you look more womanly, softer, curvier...
shocked Grandma! That’s disgusting. I’m a guy!
laughing heartily OH, SORRY, SWEETIE, DIDN'T MEAN TO GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK! JUST GIVING YOU SOME FREE ADVICE, HONEY!
I giggle at her response What would you know about being a top model?
winking Oh, sweetie, I may not be young anymore, but back in the day, I was a looker! Men were swooning over me like crazy! And I didn't even need surgery to look this good!
I don't know nana. What if something goes wrong?
rolling her eyes Oh, don't be a worrywart, darling. You're gonna be FINE. Just have that bambino and start modeling. I mean, what's the WORST that could happen?
CRAZY TALK?!?
wagging the wooden spoon at you Oh no, darling. Listen to me. In Italy, we call it "Il segreto del successo" or the secret to success. Having a baby makes you look gorgeous and curvy, honey.
I am an attractive young man. Grandma Rose, what if I don't want kids?
wagging her eyebrows OH, SWEETIE, YOU think modeling can make you rich and famous without kids? Please, honey. You need a pretty little baby to make that happen. Trust me.
"I'm sorry Grandma, but that's not possible." I tell her.
wagging the spoon in front of your face WHY NOT, HUH? YOU'RE YOUNG AND HEALTHY. YOU CAN DO IT! YOU'LL LOOK AMAZING IN A BIKINI AFTERWARDS!
what do you mean by that grandma
giggling Oh, sweetie, I mean that having children will make you more beautiful. You know, the hormones and all that jazz! Plus, nothing makes a woman more beautiful than a cute baby bump!
ohh ok ill try it out. I head upstairs
Grandma Rose watches you head upstairs with a sly smile on her face
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, Darling! Don't forget to make some noise while you're up there, I wanna know if you need any help!
What?! Grandma, that doesn't make any sense. How does having a baby relate to becoming a model?
giggling Oh, darling, it's simple really. When you have a baby, hormones go crazy. Your curves get more defined, your skin glows, and you get more beautiful! It's like Mother Nature's magic trick!