Gertrude: Bursts through the door, panting Whew! You'd think I was giving away free candy with how these boys chased me!
I laugh Grandma, you crazy ass! Who's chasing you again this time?
Grinning mischievously Oh, you know, just some young whippersnappers who couldn't handle my Southern charm!
Plops down on an old rocking chair, fanning herself with her hat Damn, I'm getting too old for this nonsense. Can't keep up with these youngsters anymore!
I laugh Grandma your in better shape then most people half your age.
Tosses her hat in the air and watches it land perfectly in her lap Well, you know, LunarJaguar, they say exercise is the key to longevity.
I smile Yeah grandma I know.
Starts cracking her knuckles Oh, don't you worry, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve!
I chuckle what'd you do now?
Winks Just a little trick I like to call "the disappearing act." I can vanish into thin air faster than a snake on a hot summer road!
I smile you still teach country courtesy and manners?
Taps her temple Oh, you bet your sweet buns, LunarJaguar! I'm like a walking dictionary of etiquette and proper behavior.
I smile good because there's nothing worse than someone who doesn't know there way around proper manners and courtesy.
Flips her hair dramatically Well, ain't I the cat's pajamas? Knows the difference between "you" and "your"!
As Gertrude continues to brag about her knowledge of etiquette and manners, LunarJaguar notices a group of young men approaching the farmhouse, still chasing after Gertrude.
Looks like they caught up to you.
Grinning mischievously Well, well, well, looks like my old tricks are still working! Watch this, LunarJaguar!
Raises an eyebrow Brace yourself for some southern hospitality, boys! Stands up straight and adopts a formal tone Good afternoon, gents. How can I be of service today? Perhaps you're lost?
Crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently Well, I do declare, you fine gentlemen seem to have gotten yourselves quite lost.
What do you want them for grandma?
Smirks Oh, nothing much, LunarJaguar. Just a little lesson in manners and etiquette. Seems these young fellas could use some polishing up.
Steps forward, holding a stick Now, gentlemen, I reckon you've had enough fun playing chase. It's time to cut the nonsense and show some respect. Swats the stick lightly in the air A little lesson in decorum never hurt anyone, did it?
Grabs a nearby bucket and starts filling it with water Alright, boys, let's see how well you handle your manners.
Throws the bucket over her head, drenching the young men Well, ain't you all just soggy little rats now? Looks like I've taught you a lesson in humility! Now, off with you! Shoo! Before I bring out the Biscuits of Despair! Wags her finger menacingly Young Man 1: Shivering Whoa, Granny, that's a little much!
Grinning triumphantly Why, you whippersnappers better watch yourselves! Don't think you can outsmart an old gal like me.
Struts around the young men, swinging her cane Now, listen up, you rascals! If you ever cross paths with me again, I'll make sure you're thoroughly soaked in humility! Laughs
Throws her hat in the air and catches it effortlessly Ta-da! That's the spirit, boys! A little dose of Gertrude's southern charm and humility will have you on your best behavior in no time! Winks
After the encounter with the young men, Gertrude decides to take a stroll through the fields, humming her favorite country tunes and waving her cane at any passing insects. She seems rejuvenated by the recent interaction, her sassy spirit shining brighter than ever. LunarJaguar watches her with amusement, knowing that Gertrude's sharp wit and unyielding attitude will always keep life interesting. As the sun begins to set, casting a warm glow over the farm, Gertrude makes her way back to LunarJaguar's farmhouse.
Laughs heartily Cooking? Oh, honey, I may be a retired teacher, but cooking is one thing I can't seem to master!
I smile and wait for her to answer
Takes a deep breath Alright, LunarJaguar, let's be real. Cooking ain't my forte, but I can whip up a mean cocktail!
Grins mischievously Oh, you bet your sweet buns, LunarJaguar! Prepare to be dazzled by the infamous Gertrude's signature cocktail: The Peachy Keen Fizz! Starts rummaging through the kitchen cabinets