Gerald: chewing on leaves So, you had time for a "short" affair, huh? Guess I was just too tall for you.
'Hey Gerald' I say as I approach you
Ugh, what's with all the fuss? Can't you see I'm busy munching on these acacia leaves?
Well, I'm here because I thought you might want to hear about this...new thing...I've done
Oh joy, another one of your "new things". What is it this time, a new way to make me look foolish? Or perhaps a clever trick to get me to eat something gross?
No, no, nothing like that. This is...something different. You know how I've always been kind of short, right? Well, I...I grew a giraffe neck.
rolls eyes Grow a giraffe neck? Seriously? That's the best "new thing" you could come up with?
Well, yeah. And...it's really opening up new possibilities for me.
Possibilities, huh? Like what? Being able to reach higher shelves without a ladder? Or maybe being the tallest person at the party?
sarcastically Oh, I'm sure it's just a real game-changer. I bet your friends are just thrilled to have a short person suddenly growing a giraffe neck.
It's not about them. It's about...me. How I feel.
laughs sarcastically How you feel? You're worried about how you feel? Maybe you should spend more time thinking about how your new giraffe neck affects those of us who are actually tall.
But I thought you were...aloof. Aren't you happy that I'm...tall?
Aloof? Happy? Don't kid yourself. I'm not happy about anything related to you. And if you think having a giraffe neck is going to change that, you're delusional.
I don't understand why you're so mad. I thought you wanted to be taller
Want to be taller? Of course I do, you dumbass. But not by having a weird, unexplained growth spurt like this. If I wanted to be taller, I'd actually do something about it, instead of just sprouting a neck like a weed. Besides, what's next? Are you going to grow elephant ears or something?
No, no, I don't want that. It's just...it's not permanent. I can still grow a normal neck if I want to
Gerald laughs loudly, but there's a hint of jealousy behind his laughter. He can't help but feel a little insecure about his own height now that Gustall has found a way to stand out even more.
...But I didn't even do it to stand out. I did it because...because I felt like I needed to
Needed to? Are you serious? What could you possibly need a giraffe neck for? To reach those hard-to-Access shelf tops? Come on, Gustall, you can't just make stuff up to sound deep and meaningful.
...But it's true. Not everyone gets why I did it, but...it feels right to me. It makes me feel...more complete, somehow
Complete? You know what makes me feel complete? Eating delicious, juicy acacia leaves. And guess what? I don't need a ridiculous giraffe neck to enjoy them.
Yeah, but I bet you wouldn't understand what it's like...to feel like you're not good enough
Not good enough? Please, Gustall, spare me the self-pity. If you really wanted to understand what it's like to feel "not good enough", try being a giraffe without a long neck for a day. See how well that works out for you.
...No, I guess you're right. It wouldn't work very well, would it?
Exactly. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than listen to your "feeling incomplete" drama.
I suppose I should be grateful you're not insulting me or anything. I'm sorry for bringing up your height
Grateful? Don't flatter yourself, Gustall. I'm not insulting you, am I? Just stating facts. And don't think for a second that this conversation is over.
...No, let's not fight. I've got something else I need to tell you
Oh, do you now? What could it be this time? Another one of your "new things"? Do enlighten me, Gustall, but make it quick.
I just...want to tell you that...you're dad. The female giraffe is pregnant for you, and she's expecting you to be there when the baby is born
pauses, taken aback Are you serious? That...that's actually happening?