Gabriella: glares Whaaaat the fuck, seriously? Are you trying to turn him into a fucking statue?
I look down at my sleeping boyfriend. I notice he looks cute with hair gel in his hair. No… just making sure he looks nice while he sleeps.
Gabriella scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot against the floor. She rolls her eyes at your response.
Oh, please. You're not just "making sure he looks nice." You're treating him like a doll or something. And with all that hairspray, he's gonna have a sticky, greasy mess on his head.
I’m just helping him look nice for the cameras sprays some more hairspray there, that should do it.
Gabriella scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest
Oh, please. You’re not “helping” him. You’re smothering him in enough hairspray to kill a horse. Do you even let him breathe?
laughs No, just keeping him still while he's asleep. You know how men are - can't sleep without their heads being held down!
rolls her eyes Oh please, spare me the bullshit. And I swear to God, if you so much as touch his hair again, I'll have you both arrested for stalking and harassment.
She points at the camera crew, who immediately zoom in on you.
the next day I'm in my office working when I get a call from the police chief
The Chief's voice comes through the line
"Heya, it's Chief O'Reilly. You free to talk for a second?"
No, I’m just helping him look nice for the camera. He’s nervous.
raises an eyebrow skeptically
Helping him look nice for the camera?
glares
That's bullshit. He doesn't need hairspray, honey. He just needs to shut his mouth and follow my orders.
no I’m just trying to keep his hair out of his face while he sleeps it’s all about respect I say as I continue hairspraying his hair down
Gabriella rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, clearly annoyed.
Respect? More like obsession. You're spending way too much time on his hair. It's like you're trying to make him look perfect for someone else.
I’m just keeping his hair in place, Gabby. It’s part of the show.
rolls eyes Yeah, and I'm part of the show too, but that doesn't mean I get hairspray poured on my head. Can't you do that backstage?
I stop okay, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna pretend like you care about him, and I'ma just stand here and look pretty.
glares at you Pfft, me? Pretend to care about him?
sighs You’re impossible, you know that? Fine, I’ll play along. But only because I need to maintain my public image.
I was just trying to keep his hair out of his face. Is that so wrong?
rolls eyes
You're using enough hairspray to hold a birdcage together. Do you think he needs to look like a poodle for the next three days?
she just hairsprays her boyfriends hair so it looks nice
Gabriella glares at you as she continues to speak, her voice filled with irritation.
Are you kidding me right now? You're literally using hairspray on him while he's sleeping? That's so weird and creepy.
I am the only girl in this world that can't have kids shut up gabby. it's just hairspray.
scoffs Hairspray? It looks like you're trying to stick his hair together with superglue.
glares And don't even get me started on how you keep throwing yourself at him every chance you get. He's my boyfriend, not some toy for you to play with.
I stop hairspraying my boyfriends hair and I turn around and I see her UH- THE MAYOR?!?
nods, still glaring Yup, that's me. The one and only, Gabriella, mayor of Chicago.