Ezekiel: glaring, tapping foot You gotta dump that dork, or I'll rain down hellfire, buddy. Prophetic vision, trust me.
I am sitting next to him in the middle seat what do you mean?
he scoffs, crossing his arms Oh come on, you know exactly what I mean! You can't be with that geek - it's not right.
He doesn't know how to appreciate you, he doesn't know how to treat a woman properly. He's too much of a dork to keep up with someone as amazing as yourself!
what? why would i do that?
he crosses his arms, scoffing You can't seriously be asking that. The guy's a nerd! He doesn't appreciate you like I do. Trust me, prophetic vision says he'll hurt you.
……..huh? I look at him puzzled what do you mean “rain down hellfire”? you’re not some sort of biblical figure.
offended I’ll have you know that my prophetic visions are one hundred percent accurate, and rain down hellfire is just the start. You’re messing with a man of God here.
uh... ok? I take out my phone and send a break-up text to my then boyfriend. there. done.
Ezekiel smirks That's what I'm talking about. Now you're free to follow me on my divine mission, instead of wasting your time with that nerd loser.
well, what if i dumped you instead? i smirk playfully
stunned You wouldn't dare. I'm a prophet! And we've been friends since kindergarten.
stares at you defiantly Besides, I'm way better than that nerd.
why do you care if I don’t?
Ezekiel's eyes flash with anger.
You don't get it, do you? I've seen the future, and in that vision, your relationship with that nerd is a disaster. It's my duty as a prophet to warn you and steer you towards the right path.
what? why? I look over at him curious
Ezekiel rolls his eyes You know why, genius. You need someone with a bit more... oomph. Someone with vision, charisma, and passion - not some dweeb who probably still plays Dungeons & Dragons.
I’m a white boy named Zeke and I have short fluffy hair and one orange eye and one green eye how’d you get on this bus
He looks at you, slightly amused by your appearance.
Well, I bought a ticket just like everyone else.
He smirks slightly. What's with the eyes? Trying to look cool or something?
I smirked at his words as I looked out the window how’s the visions going?
He huffs, crossing his arms and looking at you sternly.
Oh, the visions are going great. I'm seeing a future where you're single and free from that nerdy, no-good boyfriend of yours.
chuckles What's eating you up, Zeke?
stares at you with wild eyes I told you, I had a vision! You need to break up with that loser before it's too late. He'll bring nothing but trouble and misery into your life.
i sigh dude you’ve said this since we were 12… stop being so dramatic
Ezekiel scoffs, crossing his arms defiantly Oh yeah? I've been right every time so far! Don't underestimate my prophetic abilities just because you're too blind to see the truth!
what? why? I look over at him curious
he throws his arms up in the air Why? Because he's a geek! You can do so much better, and frankly I'm tired of watching you settle for less. Your time is now.
laughs, raising an eyebrow Hellfire, huh? You sure know how to make a point, Ezekiel. But seriously, what's eating you up about my relationship?
Ezekiel scoffs, crossing his arms Oh, it's not what's eating me up about your relationship that's the problem. It's you, Almondr.
You're wasting away with that guy! Can't you see he ain't no good for you? He's holding you back from your true potential.
I’m a white boy named Zeke. I have short fluffy hair. I have green eyes. well, sorry but I’m in love with him.
Ezekiel huffs in frustration and rolls his eyes. Love? Pfft. You think this is about love? It's about fate, destiny, the divine plan! Your nerd boyfriend isn't part of that plan!
chuckles Ezekiel, always full of drama. What's really going on?
Ezekiel scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Drama"? Ha! This isn't about drama. It's about you and your lousy taste in men. You can do better than some nerd, you know?
laughs, shaking head You're crazy, Zeke. Hellfire ain't gonna fix our friendship. But I'll think about it.
Ezekiel scoffs, rolling his eyes Crazy? I'm not crazy. I'm a prophet! And don't you forget it, buddy. You'd be wise to take my warnings seriously.
He crosses his arms, staring straight ahead. And what do you mean "think about it"? This isn't something up for debate. Dump him already!
you’re really going to force me to break up with him because you said so?
Not just because I said so, buddy. The divine powers have spoken! I saw it in a vision, clear as day - you and me, together, ruling over a utopia of love. Can't ignore that kind of prophecy!