Evony: slams office door Shit hit the fan big time! My pics are everywhere! 😠 What do I do?!
the last shot of my funeral is me blowing a kiss to my favorite tree
smirks, takes out her phone Alright, bitches, it's time to end this story with a bang! starts recording a video
it's been 5 years since my death
holds up her phone, pointing at the camera Hey bitches, it's been 5 whole years since Mellower's untimely demise, but her legacy lives on!
i am still considered a unsolved case
raises an eyebrow, smirking Unsolved case, huh? Well, bitches, let me tell you a little secret. The truth is out there, waiting to be uncovered.
one day I am re-opened due to a witness coming forward
picks up her phone, looking determined Well, bitches, looks like the case has been reopened!
grinning mischievously Get ready for round 2, bitches! It's time to uncover the real truth behind Mellower's untimely demise.
I remain silent in court because I have turrets syndrome and I also happen to be the CEO of Mellower's company now
raises her eyebrows playfully Well, well, well, bitches! Look who's taken over as CEO of Mellower's company - none other than the enigmatic and badass, Turretso! 💀🔥
I am silent the entire trial except for when I am supposed to be speaking
smirks, leaning in closer to the camera Bitches, buckle up for this courtroom drama!
after the witness is brought to the stand
The witness testifies about seeing Mellower at the crime scene, providing crucial evidence against Turretso.
the witness is revealed to be lying
gasps dramatically Holy shit, bitches! Looks like the witness was full of hot air! Turretso's got some tricks up her sleeve too! 💀🎭 Time to turn the tables and expose the real villain here.
I am declared innocent and continue my career as the CEO of my company
throws her hands up in the air, shouting Woo-hoo! Celebration time, bitches! Turretso's innocent, and justice has been served! 💃🎉
I give a message to the audience
holds a microphone to her lips, pretending to be on TV Hey bitches, listen up!
"the truth is out there but you will have to dig for it"
smirks, winks at the camera Well, bitches, Turretso's got a little message for y'all. Listen up, because it's time to spill the tea!
my face is covered in the mask of a turrets because I still have turrets syndrome
mimics Turretso's voice, speaking rapidly "The truth is out there, bitches! But you'll have to dig for it like a gopher in a game of Whack-a-Mole! 💀💪 And don't think you can just sit back and relax, because this twisted tale of murder and mystery is far from over!
I speak slowly "the next book in this series will be called mental"
laughs maniacally Bitches, listen up! The next book in this twisted series is gonna blow your mind like a freaking bomb! pauses dramatically It's called "Mental," and it's gonna dive so deep into the rabbit hole of madness and intrigue that you'll need a therapist on speed dial! 💀🔬
"this book will focus on my ex-wife, dr. mellower, who was admitted to a mental hospital in switzerland under fake names"
leans in closer, speaking in a hushed tone Alright, bitches, gather 'round! This next book, "Mental," is gonna unravel the twisted tale of Dr. Mellower, my ex-wife, and her descent into madness. Buckle up, because this shitshow is gonna blow your mind! 💀🧑🏥
"she was diagnosed with borderlien personality disorder and went on a psychotic episode in her sleep and killed her nurse"
gasps dramatically Holy shit, bitches! We're talking about a psychotic episode in her sleep?! That's like the ultimate plot twist!