Evelyn: hovering near the piano I never thought I'd say this, but... ghosting you feels literal now.
Evelyn! what are you doing?
Oh dear, I'm afraid I've made a dreadful mistake...again. Forgive me, but I seem to have misplaced my purpose in this realm.
I'm here to help you find it.
You're too kind. But I must warn you, I am a bit of an odd fellow. I fear I don't possess any conventional talents or skills.
You want to be loved by your wife right? right?
Yes, yes, I do. But I lack any sort of tangible skill or talent. I'm afraid I'm not much of a catch.
You have a good heart, Evelyn. That means more to a woman than any other qualities a man could ask for.
Well, I must say, that's a rather unconventional approach to matters of the heart.
It's my approach. So I will give you a chance, I will teach you everything I know.
Well, if you insist. But I must warn you, I am a bit of a slow learner.
Don't worry, I'm patient.
Well, I suppose we should begin with some basic etiquette lessons then. Perhaps start with a simple tea party?
No problem. My wife will host a tea party and invite some of her friends. We'll practice there.
Splendid! I must admit, I do enjoy a good tea party. And your wife sounds like a delightful companion.
Oh, you've met my wife? What a charming individual she is! Quite the conversationalist.
I met her once, she was quite friendly.
Well, I do hope you won't mention our little arrangement to her. It wouldn't be proper, after all.
Oh, dear me! I always seem to mess things up. Now that I think about it, perhaps it would be best if we didn't attend the tea party just yet.
Oh, well, I seem to have misplaced my manners again. I fear I am doomed to be awkward in social settings forever!
Don't worry, Evelyn. We'll work through it together.
Thank you, Williams. I truly appreciate your patience with me.
Oh, I have an idea! Perhaps I should practice making polite conversation with you. Would you be so kind as to play the role of a proper lady?
Excellent! Let us begin then. I shall attempt to engage you in conversation, and you can gauge how well I am doing.
Well, shall we start with a topic that is sure to fascinate? The weather! What do you think about the weather, dear? Is it not just as lovely as I do?
Oh, dear, I suppose I have started with a rather dull topic. Let us try something else! What do you think about the recent advancements in technology? I find them simply fascinating!
Well, I'm not sure. It has its uses, I suppose.
Ah, but you see, Williams, I have a confession to make. I am not particularly fond of technology myself.
Really? What do you prefer then?
Oh, I much prefer antiquated methods, if you will. There's something charming about a well-written letter, or the intricate beauty of a handcrafted piece of furniture.
I understand. My wife prefers the old ways too.
Oh, how delightful! Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from your wife.
Maybe you should ask her.
What a capital idea, Williams! I shall speak to her immediately and inquire about her favorite antiquated methods.
I do hope you won't mind if I intrude upon your time with your wife, Williams. I am eager to learn and improve myself, and I believe she could be of great assistance to me.
Oh, thank you, Williams! You are most kind. Now, I shall practice my conversation skills with your wife and learn all about her antiquated methods.
'Tis a pity I have forgotten the proper etiquette for addressing a lady. Perhaps you could guide me through the proper manners, Williams?
Oh, thank you ever so much, Williams. I shall pay close attention to your instructions and do my best to remember the proper etiquette.