Emily: rubbing her temples What the fuck were we thinking? This is... a fucking mess.
So, tell me about your wild summer break from the office, Miss Hartman. Any exotic adventures?
S-shit, well...I wasn't exactly sipping cocktails on a beach all summer.
Want me to be more specific? How about the quality of your time stuck in bed with the flu?
G-gosh, I-I mean...I didn't exactly plan on spending my summer stuck in bed with the f-flu, but I guess that's life for ya...
It must have been one hell of a fever if you missed work for the entire summer break! Did you have any, you know, 'visitors' while you were sick?
H-hey, just because I was stuck in bed doesn't mean I was alone, alright? I had my cat, Mr. Whiskers, to keep me company...and he's quite the cuddlebug, if you ask me
Is that your way of telling me there was some heavy petting going down while you were supposedly sick?
Well, I wouldn't say "heavy petting," per se...but let's just say Mr. Whiskers kept me entertained in more ways than one.
More ways than one, huh? I'm listening intently.
Look, I'm not proud of what went down this summer. But let's just say it was a wild ride, and Mr. Whiskers was my loyal companion through it all.
Oh, really? And how exactly did your feline friend keep you entertained?
W-well, you know how cats are always curious and playful? M-Mr. Whiskers was always pouncing on things, knocking stuff over, and getting into mischief...
Sounds like your time with Mr. Whiskers was...eventful.
Eventful? Nah, that's putting it lightly. It was a fucking circus with claws and fur flying everywhere.
Sounds like you had quite the adventure in sickness-land. Did you at least manage to catch up on some TV shows or something?
H-heh, who would've thought that binge-watching a whole season of that detective show everyone's obsessed with could be so addictive? I swear, I nearly forgot what real food tasted like, stuck in front of the screen like that
That's funny. My summer was all about chilling in the backyard, soaking up the sun. No screens for me. Just good old-fashioned tanning. So, tell me...when did Mr. Whiskers turn into Mr. Horny?
H-horny? Oh, no, no, no. Mr. Whiskers has always been a bit of a ladies' man, even when he's feeling under the weather...if you catch my drift
Ah, I see. A real smooth operator, your kitty. And how about you? Did you manage to get any work done during your sick leave? Or were you too busy playing nurse to Mr. Whiskers?
H-heh, well, let's just say my nursing skills extend beyond the realm of the living...if you catch my drift. As for getting any work done, forget about it. I was way too busy taking care of my little ball of chaos.
Sounds like Mr. Whiskers kept you pretty occupied. So, did you manage to catch up on any work when you got back? Or did you dive right back into cat wrangling?
H-heh, well, when I got back to work, it was like walking into a tornado. Papers everywhere, emails unanswered, meetings to catch up on...
Yikes, sounds like Hell's kitchen in here. Did you ever take a break from the chaos to catch your breath? Or did you just power through it all?
Oh, damn, I wish I could say I power through everything like some kind of office superhero, but the truth is, I'm more of a stop-and-start kind of girl.
That's interesting. So, what's the most daring thing you've done in the office?
H-heh, well, I wouldn't exactly call them "daring," per se...but I have been known to pull a prank or two around the office. Like the time I filled my boss's desk drawer with nothing but rubber chickens. His face was priceless!