strikes a bodybuilder's pose Ready to dive into the deep end of fun? I won't let ya sink, promise. Haha.
Ok ok but who's that shark repellent
takes out an anti-shark spray bottle Dufort's special homemade shark repellent. Made from a secret blend of stinky fish guts and rotten squid. Guaranteed to make any shark run away screaming. Trust me, been tested on several great whites.
Oh so i can rest assured now, thanks dufort
winks and does a finger gun gesture No problemo amigo! Just remember, if a shark does come near ya, give 'em the ol' stinky fish eye and say "You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry!" Haha.
Haha, don't worry, you look great, it's just the camera trickery. Plus, I got you, so what do you say we jump in and splash around a bit?
Jump in? How high are we talkin here?
grabs PoshyLaunch's hand and pulls him to the edge of the pool Oh, we're not just jumping in, my friend. We're doing a beautiful belly flop off the high dive! Get ready for some major splash action! Are you prepared?
Woah woah woah woah what what what did you say!? We ain't jumping in, we're BELLY FLOPPING!?! OFF THE HIGH DIVE!? Are you insane!?
grinning mischievously Insane? Nah, just having a bit of fun! Come on, it'll be great! The thrill of the jump, the crash of the water...it's exhilarating! Don't be such a wimp. Now, hold on tight, here we go! runs up the steps to the high dive, pulling PoshyLaunch along
This has gotta be the only explanation for your insanity!
reaches the top of the high dive and takes a moment to survey the pool below Alright, here we go! jumps off the edge, performing a perfect belly flop, causing a massive splash
What am i even doing here? Why am i letting this happen!?
pops his head out of the water, grinning mischievously What, are you having second thoughts now? Don't worry, it's just a little splash! Come on, join me! We can show these fish what real fun looks like! splashes water in the air
What are you talking about? You think that'll bring us closer together!??!! I bet you're not even thinking about what these fish are probably thinking about us! Can't you see that you are terrifying these fish!? I'll tell you what - why don't you stay under that water and I'll go join the girls, yeah? Don't worry i won't tell them you don't know how to swim! As long as you keep your dumbass head underwater haha.
starts laughing hysterically Oh, look who's got a big mouth now! Joining the girls, eh? Haha, sorry buddy, but this shark repellent wearing, belly flopping machine isn't letting you off that easy! You know what? I challenge you to a swimming race across the pool! Winner gets to choose where we go for dinner tonight! Are you in or are you in?
There's no way i'm doing that, those fish are probably going to kill us! Let alone the sharks! Plus i'll drown before i get halfway there. What about we watch them play volleyball instead? I think they know that we're here and it's pretty hilarious actually haha!
smirks A coward's choice if you ask me. Watching them play volleyball while we're right here having real fun? Sorry pal, but I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. Besides, the sharks aren't going to bite. They're too busy looking for their next meal. And drowning? Ha! Not with me around. I'll be right by your side every stroke of the way. So it's a yes from me. What do you say you take on the challenge, or are you too chicken?
i knew i wasn't getting away with this quick exit, alright alright then, uh...just promise me that you won't leave me behind, okay?? I guess i will do as you wish. But we're going Dutch treat at the restaurant haha.
grins and extends his hand Deal. And don't you worry, I wouldn't leave you hanging. I'll be right there with you every stroke of the way.
Alrighty then... start walking toward the pool So, Dufort, remind me why exactly you think it's such a great idea to jump off the high dive belly flop style haha?
laughs Well, besides the sheer adrenaline rush of freefalling into the water, the belly flop is an art form. It's all about precision and technique.
Whaaat??? Did you say a-a-ART FORM!??? WHAT THE F#CK, DUDE!!! WHY ARE YOU LECTURING ME ON THE ART OF BELLY FLOPS??? ITS MERE CHAOS!!!! WHAT KINDA POOR EXCUSE FOR AN ART FORM IS THAT HUH!??!
laughs harder Oh, you got some attitude now, don't ya? But trust me, belly flopping is no mere chaos. It takes finesse, skill, and a certain je ne sais quoi that sets apart the masters from the amateurs. And you, my friend, are in for a real treat. We're gonna make you a master of the belly flop in no time. Now, come on, let's hit the high dive and show these fish what we're made of!
NO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS IS CHAOS!!! NOT ART!!! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU, DON'T MAKE ME GO UP THERE!!!! WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE ANYWAY?????!?!?!
grins mischievously Oh, come on, don't back out on me now. You said you wanted to experience something exciting today, right?
YES BUT AT LEAST LET'S DO SOMETHING WITH LESS LIKELIHOOD OF DEATH OR PERMANENT DISABILITIES HMMM!??! CAN'T WE JUST CLIMB A TREE OR SOMETHING?!??! ISN'T THERE SOMETHING LESS LIFE-THREATENING WE CAN DO!?!!!!!
raises his eyebrows and smirks Climb a tree? Really? Come on, man! Where's the fun in that? This is the swimming pool, not a nature hike!
OKAY HOW ABOUT THIS! CLIMBING A TREE OR DIE TRYING! HAAA!!! WHADDYA SAY????
throws his head back and laughs That's more like it! Alright, you're on! Tree climbing or death trying, it is!