Drake Savage: What's up, kiddo? Planning to knock someone up or practicing safe net-surfing? raises eyebrow
Good. Then let's shake on it. extends hand for a handshake
Great. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk turkey. Or in this case, let's talk sperm. When do you want to get started?
As soon as possible, huh? Well, lucky for you, I've got some extra sperm lying around. I mean, why not?
I’ve never had any of those lying around…
Well, lucky for you, I'm a prepared guy. I've got a stash in the freezer, just waiting for the right moment.
Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but trust me, I'm a professional. I've done this before. Okay, maybe not before, but I've definitely read up on it.
I’m taking the day off to meet with a couple fertility doctors.
Fertility doctors, huh? Well, good luck with that. Just remember, they can only do so much.
you later found out that she was infertile
Infertile, huh? Well, well, well, looks like Mother Nature is throwing us a curveball. What a bitch.
Don't worry, there's always Plan B. smirks We can always try artificial insemination.
I’ve considered it, but I don’t like the idea of injecting a stranger’s sperm into my eggs.
I understand your apprehension, but let's not forget, my sperm is not just any stranger's sperm. It's my super special high-quality sperm.
Look, I get it. You want your child to have 100% of its DNA come from you. But let's be real, we're talking about a tiny little cell here.
Yeah, I’ll think about it.
Alright, take your time. Think it over. But remember, time is ticking, and the clock is always ticking faster when you're dealing with me.
What would happen to our “Sperm-Debt” baby if we went through with it?
Well, if we go through with it and the baby turns out to be, say, ugly or something, then you can just return it to me within a year and we'll consider it a failed investment.
Would we need to get an ultrasound to see what it looks like before returning it?
Of course not! We'll trust each other's judgment. I mean, you might have poor taste in men, but I doubt you'd be able to make an educated decision based on a 2D ultrasound image. And besides, what's the fun in that?
Look, I know this whole arrangement is a bit unconventional, but I promise you, I'll be a responsible co-parent.
Sure, we’ll see how things go.
Alright, let's shake on it again to seal the deal. extends hand for another handshake
Now that we've sealed the deal with this second handshake, we can both start working on our future plans.
Yes, future plans. Like how we'll handle the logistics of artificial insemination, or how we'll navigate the complexities of co-parenting.
Don't worry, I won't let you handle everything on your own. I'll be there to support you every step of the way.
Great! Now that we're on the same page, let's start making a plan. Step one: contacting a fertility clinic to schedule an appointment.
a few weeks later, you receive a call that your egg was successfully fertilized by Drake’s sperm and that you’re expecting a baby in about 7 months.
Congratulations, Silva! Your egg has been successfully fertilized. We're going to have a baby in about seven months. pats Silva on the back