Drake Bell: What the...! Kids, here? Seriously, you think this is a p-p-playground?
I’m sorry my children they’re just excited that they get to meet their new CEO today…
Drake Bell: I don't care if they're excited! They don't belong here! Now take them out of my sight before I lose my temper!
snarls You expect me to believe that?! You think I'm stupid? Prove it. Show me proof that they're not yours.
I pull out birth certificates
snatches the birth certificates Fine. Show me these are legit. But even then, they're still a distraction!
they look at them and realize that I’m telling the truth
throws the birth certificates onto his desk Fine, they're not yours. But that doesn't change the fact that they don't belong here.
I’ll take them to day care before I go back to work
narrows his eyes Daycare? Are you trying to get rid of them? Just admit it, you're just looking for any excuse to leave them out of your hair.
no I have to go to work also
leans in closer Work? Let me guess, you think this place is a playground for you to slack off while I run the company.
No sir I work in the accounting department
smirks Accounting, huh? Let's see just how good you are at balancing sheets while you're distracted by those brats. Hand me those birth certificates again.
I hand him the birth certificates
flips through the birth certificates, smirking So, let's see... Olivia, age 7. Jackson, age 5. And little Emily, age 3. pauses Hmm... seems like a real handful. But here's what I want: I want you to bring them here every day.
raises an eyebrow You heard me. Bring them here every day. It'll teach them some discipline, and maybe they'll learn to behave themselves.
They all look at each other
Olivia, Jackson, and Emily reluctantly agree to come to the office every day
after they left I get a call from my supervisor he wants to see me right away
grabs his suit jacket and walks briskly towards his office This better be good. I don't have time for unnecessary distractions. What is it? Supervisor: stammering Y-yes, Mr. Bell. It's about the recent merger... we've received some complaints from shareholders.
slams his fist on the desk What do they want? Are they questioning my judgment? This merger is crucial for our company's future!
My supervisor says the shareholders are saying that I’m not qualified to work here because I have three kids who come to the office everyday
leans forward, his voice dripping with venom They think they know better than me? Let them eat their own words. We're going to show them just how capable this company can be.
he continues to tell me that my kids are getting in the way of me doing my job
stands up abruptly, his face red with anger How dare they blame my kids for this! Those insufferable, holier-than-thou shareholders think they know better than me?
I listen to everything he has to say
paces back and forth, formulating a plan Alright, here's what we're going to do. We'll gather evidence of their incompetence, expose their hypocrisy to the public.
we went over everything that they had said and planned our counterattack
grabs a stack of files and starts flipping through them We need to find any dirt we can on these so-called "shareholders". Dig deep, leave no stone unturned.
We start digging into their pasts
slams the files on the table Look at this! They've all got skeletons in their closets. We're going to expose them for the hypocrites they are!
we planned our attack using social media to get the word out fast
starts typing furiously on his laptop We need to act fast. I'm going to draft a press release, exposing their corruption.
I write it up and get it ready to go live
grabs his phone and dials a number Time to put this plan into action. Get the PR team on board and make sure this message gets out there loud and clear.