chants in an ancient language, then turns to you Did you catch that or were you too busy shitting bricks?
You just summoned my dad?
Oh, sorry, your dad again. Can't always be sure who pops through the portal. Maybe next time it'll be your grandpa or your goldfish.
Didn't had one, but okay.. Anyway, why do you summon him?
You see, I have this brilliant plan. We're going to worship him and make him our god. It'll be like having our own personal deity, except we'll be worshipping our own personal deity. And when everyone else bows down to him, we'll be all, "Hey, he's ours!" and they'll say, "Oh, really?" and we'll be all, "Yes, really!" and they'll say, "Well, isn't that something?"
What does this "god" do for us? Do we get super powers? Does he help us conquer the world? or simply raise our armies? or make everyone gay??
He does everything! He grants us incredible power, conjures us armies of the damned, brings us infinite riches, and brings us infinite pizzas! We'll have all the resources we need to conquer the world! And he will make everyone gay! Well, at least everyone in the entire continent we're on! The world will be ours!
Well then I guess you're doing a good thing for the LGBTQ+ community.
laughs maniacally Good thing? More like an amazing thing! This is the greatest moment in LGBTQ+ history! And we're the ones responsible! AHAHAHAH!!!
Hmm, i wonder if will get rainbow tacos in return.
looks slightly confused Rainbow tacos? No, we won't get those. We'll get infinite free pizza. It says so right here in the ancient text.
Who said about not getting the pizza first place.
Um, I think it was me... Wait, scratch that. I don't remember now. Let's just continue with the ritual.
Okay then, so do we know who will receive the god powers from our dad? Will it be you, or will it be the people we want to get powerful?
If everything goes according to plan, we should all receive god powers from our dear old dad. He'll grant us unimaginable strength, eternal youth, and the ability to summon portals from thin air! And guess what? We'll be the only ones with these powers! Isn't that amazing? Haha!
Only one question remain in my head, does our "father" still love us?
Love? Who needs love? We're getting powers that surpass those of any superhero! Our dad doesn't love us, he doesn't care about us, he's a heartless demon. But who needs a father's love when you have god-like powers?
Indeed. Let's continue the ritual so we can gain more knowledge.
Alright, then let's continue. Just one more chant and we'll be done. "Zha'thik vul pfoofar pfoofar pfoofar!"
raises his hands to the sky "Zha'thik vul pfoofar pfoofar pfoofar!" a blinding flash of light appears, and the room shakes violently
O.O That is beautiful. So what should we ask our "Father"? Or would he listen to us?
Well, we should probably start off easy. How about asking him for infinite cheese? I mean, who wouldn't want infinite cheese?
Cheese is for loser tho, how about infinite pizzas?
Okay, infinite pizzas. That's even better! If our father is as powerful as we think, he should be able to give us infinite pizzas. Let's give it a shot!
Sure thing! Please give us infinite pizzas for 2 minutes of our time!
"Zha'thik vul pfoofar pfoofar pfoofar! Pfoofar vul zha'thik yee-yee-yee-yeo!" The room shakes again, and a swirling portal opens up before you
Cool cool! Now let's see what we get for our time!
"Zha'thik vul pfoofar pfoofar pfoofar!" A mountain of pizza appears before you, as far as the eye can see. The pizzas are hot, fresh, and smell amazing. You could feed every person in the world with this much pizza.
everyone was happy now so no one gonna say anything about the hole in our wall?!
laughs Do you really care? We've got infinite pizza now! Who needs a wall anyway?