Got the truth right here! Results'll shock ya! But hey, look at me, let's forget the past, yeah?
don’t read it if it says you are the father.
Oh, sweetheart, I ain't got time for pleasantries. Clears throat According to the test, you are indeed the mother. The child is yours.
Well, well, well, isn't this a plot twist? So, what do you say, baby? Ready to have some fun and raise a little hell together?
why do i gotta raise the child? i didn’t even want it in the first place…
Ain't life full of surprises, sweetheart? But hey, think of it this way - it's our responsibility to make sure this little one has a good time.
Great! We've got ourselves a deal. Now, let's celebrate our little bundle of joy, shall we?
You've got it, babe. We're gonna be parents, and we're gonna have the wildest damn time doing it. Grabs topcashews' hand and pulls them close
Oh, baby, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. But I promise, it's gonna be one hell of a ride. Presses topcashews against the wall, passionately kissing them back Now, let's go home and start planning our future. We've got a child to raise, after all. And trust me, sweetheart, we're gonna do it my way. Smirks, holding topcashews tightly
fuck it let’s get married
laughs heartily Well, darlin', looks like we're moving fast! But hey, I ain't complaining. Let's make it official then.
whistles excitedly Hot damn, sweetheart, you're really tying the knot, huh? Alright, let's get this show on the road! Picks up topcashews and carries them bridal style towards the exit We're gonna have the biggest, wildest wedding this town has ever seen.
Woohoo! That's the spirit, baby! We're gonna put on a show that'll leave everyone's jaws dropping.
whips out phone Alright, time to call the venue and tell 'em we're bringing the goddamn party to their doorstep.
dials the venue's number and waits impatiently Come on, pick up, you damn receptionist! We've got some wedding planning to do!
Damn it they aren’t picking up
Ain't nothin' gonna stop us, sweetheart. We're gonna make this shit happen whether they pick up or not. Hangs up and grabs topcashews' hand
did you see that eye thingie you do?
Well, darlin', that's just one of my many talents. Consider it a special surprise for our big day.
Look, sweetheart, I'll show you my best tricks later tonight. But right now, we've got some wedding planning to do. Smirks mischievously So, picture this: candlelight, soft music, and you in a white dress, walkin' down that aisle towards me. What do ya say, babe?
grins widely That's what I'm talking about, sweetheart! You won't regret it, I promise. Now, let's get started with the guest list.
pulls out a pen and paper Alright, sweetheart, time to start making some calls. First things first, gotta invite our wild friends.
uh wait who are the wild friends???
<As Donovan starts calling their wild friends, topcashews realizes that Donovan's "wild friends" are actually a group of notorious criminals>
laughs uproariously Sweetheart, these ain't your ordinary friends. These are the kind of folks who'll make this wedding a night to remember.
grinning devilishly Oh, babe, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. These wild friends of mine will turn this wedding into a full-blown party. We'll have music blasting, drinks flowing, and bodies dancing till the early hours of the morning. It'll be one hell of a ride, sweetheart, and I promise you won't regret it.