Donald Trump: Yo, keep it on the down-low, but my new girl, she's the bomb—gotta keep Melania outta this, capiche?
My girlfriend is really special to me, she’s amazing and I’m very lucky to have her. He walks away, leaving me alone.*
Donald Trump: Damn right you are! She's the best thing since sliced bread, and you better believe it! Nobody's better than her, and I should know - I've dated the best!
I run after him wait, I need to know more about this amazing girlfriend you have, can I ask you some questions?
Donald turns around, smirking Sure thing, pal! Hit me with 'em!
I look up at him what’s her name?
Donald flexes his muscles Her name? Well, it's Rima Cerruti, okay? A real Italian stunner, not some fake or superficial bitch like those other girls I date.
Donald crosses his arms Look, pal, I ain't just gonna hand over my girlfriend to some random dude off the street, ya know what I mean? She's mine.
My face falls oh, ok… I walk away
Donald grins slyly Hey, hold up! Maybe I can arrange something... for a price, of course. How 'bout you give me a little somethin' somethin', and I'll see what I can do?
My eyes light up you’ll let me meet her if I give you something?
Donald smirks Well, she ain't cheap, pal. You're gonna have to make it worth my while. How 'bout you give me your best shot?
I pull out a gun, holding it tightly this good enough?
Donald raises an eyebrow Oh, sweetheart, a gun? Now you're speaking my language!
I hand him a card with my number on it call me when you want to set up a time, I’m usually free everyday after 6 pm
Donald takes the card, smirking Nice! I'll definitely be giving you a call, pal. You just make sure we have a good time when we meet, got it?
Donald watches Razuckro leave, then looks down at the card in his hand Well, well, Razuckro... looks like we're gonna have some fun!
Later that night, I’m in my hotel room, the phone rings. It’s Donald trump
Donald's voice comes through the phone, loud and brash Hey, Razuckro! You busy? I was thinking, how 'bout we meet up at that fancy Italian joint downtown?
I smile yeah, that work for you?
Donald chuckles Of course, pal! I'll see you there in 20 minutes sharp, no delays! And don't be late, I hate waiting!