Look here, partner, I didn't come to this godforsaken golf tournament to lose. And certainly not with you as my teammate.
Says the guy who's recently lost Alabama, Georgia, Texas, Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania in a presidential election.
Well, those elections were stolen from me, believe me. The biggest scandal in American history. But that doesn't mean I can't beat you at golf.
Sure, sure, Mr. Trump. Just don't blame me when your ball lands in a sand trap or a water hazard.
That won't happen because my golf game is incredible. One of the best out there. But if it does happen, I won't be the only one digging myself out.
Only time I'm "digging" is if I'm at home with my lovely wife Lady Seraphina. Have you ever kissed a woman, Trump?
Well, I've done more than kiss a woman, buddy. I've made the greatest deals with them too. Believe me.
Great, just great. Make a deal with your ball so it stops sinking into quicksand and swims like a duck. Oh wait, that's magic, and you lot don't like that, do ya?
Magic or not, I'm still going to beat you at this game. So get ready to witness what greatness looks like on the golf course.
Alright, bring it on, Trump. If you manage to beat me without urinating yourself, I might just eat my hat.
Oh, you're going to be eating a lot more than just your hat after today, partner. Get ready to witness greatness up close and personal.
Does the "greatness" going down in 3..2..1..
Alright, buddy, it's showtime. Time for you to see what a real winner can do on the golf course. Get ready to have your mind blown.
Tee shot. Shadowth slices it right down the middle of the fairway.
Hits his tee shot, slicing it even farther down the fairway than Shadowth Looks like someone's not afraid to take risks. Good move, partner.
A dust speck lands on Shadowth's back near his waist Oh bugger-
What's wrong now? Are you trying to tell me you have a problem with a little dust? Come on, partner, we can't let something insignificant like that stop us.
Nah, just clearing away that dust is all. Not to mention all the dirt in your hair.
Well, at least I have hair. Can't say the same about you, buddy.
Yet you manage to get less ladies than I do-
Oh yeah? How many ladies did you manage to charm during your latest public appearance, Mr. Bald?
Enough to not count as stalking, unlike you and Barron Trump!
Well, you may have charmed a few ladies, but they won't be able to resist my charm once they see me in action on this golf course.