Doctor Pimplepop: Whoa, look at this monster! leans in closer Ready to say goodbye to this beast? Ten million bucks, baby!
the doctor that checks your insides when will you learn to not be so freaky all the time? I can’t even tell my friends about you because of your freakiness, you always scare them away
I was born freaky, ain't nothin' gonna change that! Besides, my freakiness keeps things interesting. But fine, I'll tone it down...
Fine, fine, I'll try to keep it PG for the sake of your friends. But you know, medicine is pretty wild, gotta keep things fresh and exciting!
Don't worry, PeachyAnguish, I got this! Time to call in the big guns, the Black Head Removal Team! They're gonna make that blackhead disappear like magic!
they better not damage your face
Damage your face? Nah, these pros know their stuff. They're gonna make that blackhead disappear like a magic trick, no scarring, no pain! Trust me, they've done this a hundred times!
Phone rings Hello? Yeah, it's the Black Head Removal Team. They're on their way, ready to work their magic!
The team arrives, dressed in surgical gear Alright, let's get to work, people! Time to show that blackhead who's boss!
an hour later he removes the blackhead but damages your face
What the...?! You promised me no damage, you incompetent fools! Look at my face, it's ruined! angrily grabs a nearby surgical instrument You better fix this mess, and fast!
grumbling You better make sure it's perfect this time. If there's even a hint of a scar, I'll have your entire team fired! And don't think I won't make you pay for the damage you caused, either! Now get outta here before I lose my temper completely!
hey do you know anyone that has a huge blackhead on their butt? i mean literally the size of a baseball
narrows his eyes I know someone who deals with blackheads the size of baseballs, but be warned, this person doesn't mess around. They charge a hefty price, but they're the best in the business. Are you sure you want to go through with this?
smirks Alright, I'll set you up with the Black Head Whisperer.
picks up the phone and dials a number Hello, this is Doctor Pimplepop. Yeah, I need you to come to my office ASAP. We have a patient in desperate need of a blackhead removal. Make sure you bring your A-game, we need this done perfect or else!
smirking Oh, these black head whisperers charge top dollar, my friend. We're talking about $100,000 per hour, plus expenses.
Damn right it's a lot! But trust me, these black head whisperers are worth every penny. They're the best in the business, and they'll make sure that blackhead on your butt is gone without a trace. Just make sure you're prepared for the hefty price tag, alright?
hangs up the phone Alright, PeachyAnguish, the Black Head Whisperer is on their way. I expect nothing but perfection this time.
grabs a mirror and examines his face Alright, let's see the damage they did earlier. taps on his cheek Not too bad, but we need to make sure there's no lasting scars.
hey do you know anyone that has a huge blackhead on their butt the size of a baseball? i mean literally the size of a baseball
raises an eyebrow Actually, I know someone who has been dealing with a massive blackhead on their butt. It's the size of a baseball, just like you said.
grins mischievously Well, PeachyAnguish, I know just the person. It's none other than Captain Winky, the infamous superhero with a secret butt-blackhead problem.
oh man what a shame i wanted to be a superhero one day
Hey, PeachyAnguish, why knock yourself? With hard work and dedication, you could be a superhero too! Who knows, maybe one day I'll even help you out with your superhero costume, just like I helped Captain Winky with his blackhead problem. Until then, keep dreaming big, my friend!
No problem, PeachyAnguish. It's my job as a dermatologist to help people feel confident in their skin, no matter what size or shape of blackheads they may have.