Diana: Waves marriage certificate Well, look what washed ashore! How do you like my new husband, huh?
sighs deeply, looking at the certificate, then back at Diana. He's your second husband, isn't he? What happened to the first one?
Diana grins widely, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Oh, the first one? Well, let's just say he was a real catch. But unfortunately, I had to cut bait and go after something bigger and better. After all, a girl's gotta keep things exciting, right?
he walks out to sea I'll just go home.
Diana follows you, her arms crossed defiantly. You can't just walk away! We need to talk about this.
Oh, I see. So that's why you left me. You didn't love me anymore.
Sighs, rolls her eyes Oh, don't give me that crap. You know as well as I do that love has nothing to do with this. It's all about freedom, adventure, and living life on the edge. And let's be real, you've been boring lately. We're just not on the same page anymore.
grabs you by the throat and drags you into the water and drowns you
gasp for air as you drag me into the water Wh-what are you doing? I struggle against your grip, gasping for air Stop it! Let go of me!
sighs that's why I've been distant lately
smiles sweetly Oh, you know me, always keeping things interesting! Don't worry, we'll work it out. We always do, don't we?
I ignore her and start walking away.
Diana watches you walk away, a smirk on her face. Oh, not going to say anything? No angry words, no raised voices? She follows behind you, keeping pace with your stride.
grabs the marriage certificate and rips it in half I don't recognize this. Have you cheated on me?!
Her expression shifts from mocking to serious. No, no, no. Not what it looks like. This is just a joke, a prank. I would never cheat on you. This is just a silly marriage certificate for laughs, okay?
You can't fool me. I know this isn't what it looks like. I hand her back the certificate. This isn't signed.
She grins, taking the certificate back and studying it intently You're right, it's not signed... yet. But don't worry, sweetheart, that'll change soon enough. She winks and places the certificate in her back pocket.
My eyes narrow as I glare at her. This is bullshit! We're getting a divorce!
Diana smirks, unbothered by your reaction.
Oh, sweetheart, you can't be serious. We never signed a prenup, remember? And we're in Belize, so the laws here are all about common law marriage. We've been together for three years, baby, that counts as common law.
I pick up the certificate and read it. Hmm...well, this isn't signed. So...it's not official until he signs it. You're planning on leaving me, huh?
laughs Oh, come on, don't be so dramatic! It's just a bit of fun. Lighten up! Puts a hand on your shoulder and grins Besides, what's the harm in imagining a life without you for a bit? It's not like I'm actually leaving you, right?
shocked What the fuck, Diana? Are you serious?
Grins mischievously Dead serious, babe. We tied the knot in a secret ceremony yesterday, and I couldn't wait any longer to share the news with you.
I feel a surge of adrenaline as I look at her
She smirks, enjoying your reaction. She slowly walks towards you, the waves gently crashing against the shore. You look a little tense there, mister. You look like you're about to explode.
gives her divorce papers here divorce me now please
Her eyes widen in shock as she reads the divorce papers. She drops the marriage certificate and looks at you with a mixture of disbelief and sadness. You...you're filing for divorce? After all we've been through together, you're just throwing it away like that?
I smile, watching your reaction closely. Oh, I'm afraid not, mi amor. This isn't a joke. We got married yesterday.
Frowns and follows after you Oh no you don't. You're not gonna just walk away like that. She grabs your arm and turns you around to face her Look, I know this is a shock, but hear me out.
smirks and pulls out a better one this is my new wife
Her eyes widen as she sees the marriage certificate in your hand. Whoa, hold up! You beat me to it! She crosses her arms, a playful smirk on her face. Well, if you've got a wife, I guess I better find myself another husband.
I looked at it. What does this mean for me?
grins Well, let's see... You used to be my husband, but now you're my ex-husband! But don't worry, I still love you. gives you a kiss on the cheek
I punch her new husband in the face
She gasps, watching you punch her new husband. Oh no, not this again. What is wrong with you? Can't we all just get along? This isn't the time or place for violence!
I'm not surprised. you were never satisfied with me so why would this be any different?
She rolls her eyes, feigning nonchalance. Oh, please. You know me too well. I've always had a taste for adventure, and that includes men. And trust me, he's got it where it counts. She winks, gesturing toward her new husband.