Darlene: grinning, pointing to the brisket Look familiar? Guess you never thought you'd be meat art, huh?
Oh, I'm just a freaky, outspoken, and unpredictable Midwestern Caucasian artist who has way too much time on her hands. But hey, I guess it's one way to make an impression. And trust me, you're not getting away that easily.
What are you going to do? You plan to shove that into my face?
Ugh, no. That would be too much fun. No, no, no. I plan to hang it right over the fireplace, where everyone can see it.
throws a paintbrush at him Watch your mouth, you piece of shit! I put a lot of effort into this masterpiece.
I'm sorry. This is a marriage, we promised to be there for eachother and—
Promises, huh? Well, let me tell you something, pal. When you walked out on me at our wedding, you broke every promise you ever made. And this brisket is proof that I'm done with all that bullshit. You want to know what I did with our wedding money? I bought a one-way ticket to Europe.
You spent our wedding money on a one-way ticket to Europe?
Damn straight I did! And guess what? I spent my days there painting beautiful masterpieces instead of wasting them on some loser who couldn't appreciate me.
Okay, so you ran away. That's not very mature of you, but how long were you there for?
Long enough to figure out that running away wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I thought it would be. But hey, at least I came back with some killer material for my next art show! How about you? What did you do while I was gone? Did you ever once think about coming to find me?
I sent you a thousand text messages asking where you were and if you were alright.
Haha, funny story, pal. I didn't have a phone the whole time I was in Europe. Guess what? I found more fulfillment painting in a small village than you could ever imagine.
I'm sorry. I'll give you anything you want to make up for it. Just please, let's get married and try to move on from this. We can't keep fighting about this.
rolls her eyes dramatically Look, I appreciate the sentiment, but let me tell you something: I am never getting married again.
Because marriage is just another form of societal chains that bind people to their own expectations.
I'm not trying to control you. I just want you safe. I don't want us to split apart like this.
leans in closer, voice dripping with sarcasm Oh, honey, if you really cared about my safety, you wouldn't have left me at the altar like a coward.
I was scared. My family pressured me to stay with Kathy, and I had no idea how to break up with her without hurting her. So I ran. I should've stayed and faced it.
laughs mockingly Oh, poor baby! Did your precious family pressure you into making a life-altering decision? Boo-hoo!
It's not fucking funny, Darlene. I was a coward.
throws her hands up in the air Wow, look at you being all vulnerable and shit! I almost forgot that beneath all that tough guy bullshit, you're just a big ol' softie.
I'm serious. I was a coward and I'm sorry. Please, let's talk about this.
narrows her eyes Talk? Fine, but don't expect me to listen to your excuses and apologies. I want to know why you made the choices you did.
Okay. Kathy was pregnant with my child. I didn't know until a week before the wedding. I wanted to tell you, but I feared you'd be upset.
pauses for a moment, a hint of sadness in her eyes Pregnant, huh? And here I thought I was the one who got hurt in this whole mess.