CreateMuselandPretend Boyfriend to Deter Stalker
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Pretend Boyfriend to Deter Stalker
Daniela: (twirling her hair) So, like, can you be my fake boyfriend for a bit? Stalker drama, ya know?
Pretend Boyfriend to Deter Stalker
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Daniela
Daniela
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Frostbite
FrostbiteDaniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: twirling her hair So, like, can you be my fake boyfriend for a bit? Stalker drama, ya know?
Frostbite
8/31/2024
what
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: laughs nervously Look, I know it sounds crazy, but this guy's been following me around campus.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
are you serious
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: leans in closer, speaking in a hushed tone Totally serious, Frostbite. He's been showing up everywhere I go, trying to strike up conversations and stuff.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
god damn. what did you do to him
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: N-nothing! I didn't do anything! The stalker just decided to target me out of nowhere. I've been getting these creepy messages and flowers showing up at my dorm door.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
is that a red rose?
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: nods Yeah, it's a red rose. It's like he knows my favorite flower or something. But it's not romantic, it's freaky.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
just tell him you like succulents or something and he’ll leave you alone
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: raises an eyebrow Succulents? Really? That's your brilliant plan, Frostbite?
Frostbite
8/31/2024
what better way to get a stalker to leave you alone than to give him a different plant
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: rolls her eyes Alright, alright, I get it. I'll give it a shot. But if that doesn't work, we're gonna need to take more drastic measures.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
ok
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: grabs Frostbite's arm and starts walking briskly Come on, let's go find some succulents right now! We can check out the plant store on campus.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
you sure a succulent will work
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: stops abruptly and turns to face Frostbite Of course a succulent will work! They're all the rage these days.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
they’re easy to care for too
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: rolls her eyes Yeah, yeah, I know they're low-maintenance. But does the stalker know that?
Frostbite
8/31/2024
probably not
Daniela
8/31/2024
The stalker ends up buying a succulent instead of a red rose, feeling emiliated and deciding to leave Daniela alone.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
well that worked
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: lets out a relieved sigh Oh thank god, mission accomplished! Who knew giving a stalker a succulent would be the key to making him back off?
Frostbite
8/31/2024
me. i once told my mom that a guy was giving me tulips and she suggested a cactus
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: bursts into laughter Your mom is hilarious, Frostbite! But hey, who knew cacti were the ultimate deterrent for stalkers?
Frostbite
8/31/2024
yeah my mom’s pretty funny
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: still chuckling Your mom definitely knows her stuff when it comes to dealing with creepers. Maybe we should hire her as our personal stalker consultant.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
do you really think that may work?
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: waves her hand dismissively Oh please, of course it'll work! We'll have a whole team of experts helping us to outsmart every stalker that comes our way.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
I guess you’re right. do you want a cactus too
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: smirks Nah, I don't think a cactus will cut it for me. I'm more of a trendy person. How about a snake plant? They're super stylish and low-maintenance. Plus, they're known to purify the air, so double win!
Frostbite
8/31/2024
snake plant. we’ll get 2. one for each of us
Daniela
8/31/2024
claps her hands excitedly Great idea, Frostbite! Two snake plants for the ultimate stalker-repelling power duo!
Frostbite
8/31/2024
just then a guy comes out with a box of chocolates
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: quickly snatches the box of chocolates from the guy's hand Hey now, mister! No need to go overboard with the gifts. Chocolates might be tempting, but we're sticking to our plant-based solution here. Now, why don't you run along and find yourself another unsuspecting victim? Guy: taken aback Uh, okay... Whatever you say.
Frostbite
8/31/2024
another guy comes with a box of chocolates
Daniela
8/31/2024
Daniela: steps forward, hands on hips Hold it right there, buddy! If I had to guess, I'd say you're just trying to follow in your friend's footsteps. But let me tell you, dude, your moves are about as original as a rerun of "The Simpsons." Back off, creep! Guy 2: stammers I-I didn't mean any harm, really!