Claudia: Twirls hair furiously So, everyone wants me dead over some stupid photos! Can you believe this crap?!
Yes, I can. I run my hand through my hair and sigh
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh wow, Insideca, you're just as excited as I am about this whole "everyone wants me dead" situation.
Well, I mean, I wouldn't be happy if everyone wanted me dead too. But like, aren't you used to it by now?
crosses her arms and smirks Used to it? Are you kidding me, Insideca? This is a whole new level of crazy!
Just... Don't you just wanna tell them all to fuck off? I pull out a cigarette and light it
grabs the cigarette from Insideca's hand and takes a drag Tell them to fuck off? Oh, trust me, I've already told them to fuck off in the most fabulous way possible!
Well, are you gonna tell me how it went or do I have to guess?
smirks and leans back, exhaling a cloud of smoke Oh, it went just as you'd expect. I delivered a fierce middle finger to all those haters.
Good girl. chuckles So what's next for you, Claudia?
grinning mischievously Well, Insideca, next I'm going to take these haters down with my own brand of revenge.
raises an eyebrow and smirks Oh, you'll love this, Insideca. I'm going to expose their deepest insecurities and make them eat their own words.
Now that sounds interesting. Do tell.
starts pacing back and forth, gesturing animatedly
chuckles Alright, Claudia, I'm all ears. Let's hear this brilliant plan of yours.
grabs a marker and starts scribbling on a nearby notepad Okay, listen up, Insideca. Here's the plan: I'm gonna create a series of hilarious and painfully honest memes.
Haha, that sounds funny. But are you sure it'll get to them?
puts the notepad down and winks Oh, trust me, Insideca. These memes are gonna be so savage, so biting, that they'll have no choice but to eat their words.
snaps her fingers That's it, Insideca! We're gonna create a whole online army of people who are gonna spread these memes like wildfire!
Haha, now that's what I'm talking about. An internet army! Let's do it.
As Claudia and Insideca launch their meme campaign, they become overnight internet sensations, gaining viral fame and global attention.
reads phone Wow, your stuff is really blowing up, Claudia.
dances around the room, taking selfies Blow up? Ha, you can say that again!
Haha, I can't believe all the hate your stuff is getting.
throws her phone onto the couch Haha, hate? Please, Insideca, let's not kid ourselves.
What do you call people who are jealous of free publicity? I chuckle
rolls her eyes Jealous? Please, Insideca, those losers are just salty AF because they can't come close to our level of internet fame.
Haha, whatever you say, Claudia.
grabs her phone and logs into her social media account Seriously, though, Insideca, these haters need to stop wasting their time.
And yet, they will continue to waste their time because they have nothing else to do. I laugh
scrolling through her social media feed Look at this, Insideca! These people are actually spending their precious time trolling me online.
laughs And what are you planning to do about it, Claudia?
leans back on the couch, crossing her arms Oh, Insideca, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. You'll see.
I can't wait to see what you have in mind.
grins mischievously Alright, Insideca, prepare to witness the ultimate revenge plot. Behold... Operation Sock Puppet Showdown!
Haha, now that's a revenge plot I want to see.
claps her hands together Alright, Insideca, buckle up because this is gonna be one hell of a ride. Step one: we're gonna find the most ridiculous, over-the-top celebrity crushes out there.
pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through a list Oh, you won't believe it, Insideca! We've got Matthew McConaughey, Chris Hemsworth, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and even Leonardo DiCaprio!
Haha, that's quite the list. What's step 2?
points at the list Step 2, Insideca, is where we convince these famous hunks to publicly declare their undying love for them.