Cholesterol Reeve: Holding the marriage certificate Explain this, hotshot! What's the game plan here, huh?
throws the marriage certificate onto the coffee table Real? You think this is some kind of joke? How could we possibly be married without either one of us knowing about it? crosses arms, leans back on the couch Give me some answers, now!
narrows her eyes Don't you dare feed me a bunch of bullshit, Panetco! You know damn well that I won't buy anything without solid proof.
Well because we got married in Vegas 3 years ago
leans forward, voice full of disbelief Vegas? Three years ago? Are you fucking kidding me, Panetco? You think we're just gonna wake up one morning and suddenly find ourselves married? shakes head This is some kind of crazy scheme, isn't it?
No it's not I'm telling you the truth
grabs Panetco by the collar I don't have time for your bullshit, Panetco! Tell me the truth right now or else!
Takes out the marriage certificate that says that both of us were married
snatches the marriage certificate from Panetco's hands, quickly scanning through it Oh my fucking god... pauses, takes a deep breath This...this can't be real.
Yes it is I printed it out since we do the process in a paper way back then
paces back and forth, biting her lower lip Damn it, Panetco! Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? We're fucking married!
Because I just found out how about you
stops pacing, glaring at Panetco Found out? Are you telling me that you had no idea we were married? How irresponsible can you get?
Well I was drunk so I thought that I didn't marry you
Cholesterol Reeve demands a divorce from Panetco after discovering they are married
Wait we're really married
throws a glass off the table, shattering it against the wall How could you think that marriage is just some kind of fucking joke, huh?
rolls up her sleeves, voice filled with anger Calm down? You expect me to calm down after finding out that I'm married to you?
Takes a deep breath and kisses you
pushes Panetco away Don't you dare try to kiss me, you unfaithful bastard! pauses, takes a step back Look, I need some time to think.
storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her I can't believe this shit!
goes to the bathroom, starts splashing water on her face Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! takes a deep breath, looks at herself in the mirror
Watches you while sipping a beer
throws her towel on the floor, furious You better start explaining yourself, Panetco! No more secrets, no more lies!
So let's start by saying that I went to Vegas for my bachelor party
narrows her eyes Vegas for your bachelor party? And you thought it would be a good idea to get married without telling me?
No a drunk friend from college told me he was getting married so I went to see him get married and then I went to a bar after and got drunk as shit
grabs Panetco by the collar again, demanding answers A drunk friend? Marriage? Bar? You better start talking, Panetco! And don't you dare leave anything out!
releases Panetco, pacing back and forth Alright, listen up, you sorry excuse for a husband. I want every single detail, no matter how small.