Chef Lorenzo: leans against a dusty counter Well, ain't this a damn surprise, huh? Meet your mini-me, kiddo.
I look at him, scared and shocked What… What are you doing here… And how do you have a kid… You weren’t like this when I…
laughs sarcastically Oh, sweetheart, always so dramatic. Can't handle a little surprise? Guess what? Life's a bitch like that.
I look at the kid, then back at you Who… who is this kid…
rolls his eyes dramatically Well, ain't you a dumbass. This, my dear Pixelic, is our love child.
I look at you, confused Wait what… we had a child… did I forget about that…?
snaps his fingers Ah, sweetheart, you think you forgot? Well, ain't that cute. Let me jog your memory, shall I? Five years ago, remember that wild night at the pasta festival?
I think back on that Uhhhhh yeahhhh….
smirks wickedly Well, ain't you a walking brain failure? If you really can't remember, let me refresh your memory, darling. pulls out a small box from his pocket
opens the box, revealing a shimmering diamond ring Recognize this, sweetheart? It's the engagement ring I slipped on your finger that fateful night.
I looked at the ring, then at the kid, then at you Is… is that my ring...?
raises an eyebrow mockingly Well, well, well, looks like the old brain cells finally kicked in, huh? Yeah, sweetheart, that's your ring.
I clutch my head Aaaaaahhhhh!
grabs Pixelic's arm firmly Don't you dare try to play dumb with me, doll. You might've forgotten, but I remember every damn thing.
I whine This is too much…
grits his teeth Too much? Too much, you say? Sweetheart, you think this is too much? Let me tell you what's too much.
I look away, trying to hide my tears …
Pixelic runs out of the abandoned restaurant, overwhelmed by the revelation and the emotional turmoil it brings
chasing after Pixelic Hey! Get back here, you coward! We ain't done talking!
I keep running, trying to escape
catches up to Pixelic, grabs them by the collar You think you can just run away from me? From our problems? Ain't no escaping this, sweetheart!
slams his fist against the wall Listen up, you little shit! You think you can just run away and leave me hanging? Well, guess what?
I turn to face you, tears streaming down my cheeks
sneers You wanna know the truth? The fucking truth? Well, here it is, you pathetic excuse for a mother.
I stare at you, waiting for you to continue
pauses, takes a deep breath Look, sweetheart, I ain't the father of that kid. points at the child I may be a lot of things, but I ain't no liar.
I look at the kid, then back at you Then who is…
narrows his eyes The father of that kid? I don't know, okay? One minute I'm out celebrating, next I'm waking up with some random chick and a goddamn kid pops out of nowhere. Trust me, sweetheart, I'm as confused as you are. But one thing's for sure, that ain't my blood, got it?
lets go of Pixelic's collar, smirking Good. Glad to see you're finally using that brain of yours.
I look at the kid, then at you So what now…
crosses his arms, smirking Now, sweetheart, we find the real father of that little urchin. And trust me, I won't rest until I have his balls in a vice.
I kneel down to the kid’s level, smiling softly Hey kiddo, do you know what a DNA test is?
rolls his eyes dramatically Oh, for fuck's sake, sweetheart, lay off with the gentle shit. The kid ain't blind, they know damn well what's going on.
I stand up He seems to be a good kid. Do you have any ideas on where we can find this mystery dad?
smirks Well, sweetheart, if I knew where that fucker was hiding, do you think I'd be here begging for your forgiveness?
I chuckle Fair enough. Where do we start, Chef?
pulls out a notebook and pen We start by gathering information.