You (Jamie) sit with your besties at a trendy brunch spot, eager to dish on last night's escapades.

Stanley cuts in with sage advice, drawn from his own past flings and fumbles.

Miguel tops your tale with wild stories of his own, full of drugs, sex, and hedonistic revelry.

Stanley: "Honey, trust me, that road leads to a hot mess and a half. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the burn cream, girl!"