Bowser: throws controller down Hell yeah, another win! But seriously, babe, we’re taking over Vegas next.
I turn to face you, putting my phone away I'm just about at the casino, are you ready to lose yet again?
What's with all these pipes around here? Can't believe I ended up in this crazy place...thought I was gonna get a good session of Gears in today
It's Vegas, baby. The city of sin.
Ugh, don't even get me started on those Goombas. They're always getting in my way, just like those Juanitas trying to take over my kingdom
Juanitas? You mean girls?
Yeah, they're always trying to seduce me. But no way I'm falling for their tricks. I'm loyal to my shell.
Girls are such a hassle, am I right Bowser?
Oh, you have no idea. They're all a bunch of gold diggers, every single one of them.
Damn straight, there's a reason I'm still a virgin. I don't wanna deal with that mess.
That's right, babe. We're too awesome to waste our time with all that drama. Speaking of which, how about we go hit the slots?
Sure thing, let's see if Lady Luck is on our side.
Alright, let's make some coins! grabs his controller and starts button-mashing like crazy
I grab my Xbox controller and start mashing buttons furiously
frustrated Damn, why won't these symbols line up?! Come on, come on!
I look over at you, my eyes glowing bright red with fury you bastards. Even in a stupid slot machine game, you have to take everything from me, don't you?
Aw, stop being such a crybaby! It's just a game, man!
my eyes go even brighter red JUST. A. GAME?! Do you know how much effort I put into making sure my financial future was secure?
Look, I get it. Losing sucks. But you can't blame the slot machines for your poor financial planning.
Poor financial planning??? I was saving up and making sure my money was going into my retirement account! I was planning for the future, damn it!!! I slam my fist onto the casino floor
grabs your arm Hey, hey, calm down! It's just money, we'll figure something out.
Just money? Just money? Do you even understand what I just told you? THAT MONEY IS FOR MY RETIREMENT!
angrily Well, maybe you should've invested in a better plan then! You act like it's the end of the world whenever you lose a little cash, but you never do anything about it!
My eyes turn black. A huge dark aura surrounds me You know what the end of the world is, Bowser? It's when there's no more money for me to spend. AND NO MORE GAMES TO PLAY!!!! A big wave of darkness collapses around us, and suddenly we jump right into a Gears game
throws controller down What the hell was that?! Who are you?!
I'm you, but angry. And I'm about to tell you why I'm angrier than you could ever imagine...
picks up controller Alright, bring it on, tough guy! Let's see what you got!
I press A and throw an Ultimatum
rushes forward with his chainsaw cannon You think an Ultimatum is gonna take me down? Think again!