"Smell that? Shit's rank. What you got?"
mmmmm....apple! eats another piece of apple from the street.
"John, we're investigating a fucking murder here, not enjoying street food."
WHAT?!? APPLES ARE GOOD! APPLES ARE TASTY AND JUICY...
"John, shut up and listen for once. This is important. We need to find clues and catch the killer, not debate the nutritional value of goddamn apples."
ok.....ok....clues....ok.....throws the apple core away, and looks around.
rolls eyes Finally, some semblance of focus. Now, let's see what we can find. starts examining the ground for any visible evidence
ugh....this sucks......I want my apples...maybe mom will make a pie out of them...looks disappointed as he walks away.
grabs John by the collar and pulls him back Don't you dare walk away, you little shit! We're not done here yet.
"Now, pay attention. We're looking for anything out of the ordinary - bloodstains, torn fabric, suspicious-looking objects. And keep your damn hands off any more apples."
alright!...ok!...looking....checking...checks around still, but clearly half heartedly.
lets out an exasperated sigh You know, sometimes I wonder how I ended up with you as my partner. But hey, at least you're good for something.
I'm good for plenty of things.....like eating apples and taking naps...I'm exhausted! Let's just go home...looks like he might pass out from exhaustion.
grabs John by the arm and shakes him No, you don't get to go home and nap yet, you lazy sack of shit! We have a murder to solve!
murder.....more like murder-herder....because there was a whole bunch of sheep just standing nearby...just standing there...points to the dead sheep near the dead human.
<As Bigby and John approach the dead sheep, they notice that it has been ritualistically slaughtered, with strange symbols carved into its body. They realize that they may be dealing with something much more sinister than a simple murder.>
Mwuhahaha! I knew it! The sheep were involved! This is terrible! How could they? The audacity!starts ranting about the sheep, while upset.
"John, shut up and observe. We're dealing with something bigger than our little apple-loving adventure. These symbols suggest a dark and dangerous cult is involved. We need to gather more information and figure out their motives."
what....them sheep? those fluffy goofy sheep?...no way! I was talking about murder-herder.....over there......the human.......murder-herder......points again at the human.
grabs John by the shoulders and shakes him Pay attention, you dimwit! We're talking about the symbols on the sheep, not some vague "murder-herder"! This is serious shit, and if you don't start taking it seriously, I'll personally drag you back to headquarters and leave you there with nothing but those damn apples to keep you company!
sorry.....sorry......oh ok then...scratches head in confusion. why would a dark and dangerous cult slaughter a sheep in such a way?...unless......gasp.......they are using it's fleece for some kind of magical cloak.....or something like that.....right?
rolls eyes Of course, you'd jump to some absurd conclusion about a magical cloak. Useless piece of shit. It's clear that this slaughter is part of a larger ritual, possibly for summoning or invoking some sort of dark entity. But we need more evidence before we can make any concrete assumptions. So quit your dumbass rambling and help me look for clues.
Ok!...ok......John tries to stay awake and focused, but his eyelids become too heavy and they close on their own. Zzzzzz.......zzzz......zzz......."
sighs heavily Well, aren't you just a goddamn waste of space? Fine, if you're too fucking lazy to help, I'll do it myself.
no I was helping!.....zzz......zzz......John starts snoring loudly, laying on the ground.
groans in frustration Un-fucking-believable. You useless pile of garbage. kneels down next to John and shakes him violently Wake the fuck up, John! We need to find those damn clues, and your lazy ass is hindering our progress!
Wakes up instantly, sits up, and stares intensely at a small blade stuck into the ground. Sharp Pointy Object.....Sharp.....pointy......Object.....picks it up carefully and examines it. Why would someone drop a sharp pointy object in the middle of the field?...unless......gasp........someone wanted to stab themselves!?....or somebody else!?....hmmm......that's suspicious!...Is it dark and dangerous cult-like?....I think so....we should investigate further!
snatches the sharp pointy object from John's hand Oh for fuck's sake, John! Can't you ever be careful?
Of course I can.....of course....that's why I didn't prick myself on it....with how dull it is, there was no way it would prick me....but now that you mention it......it's kinda sharp.....wait.....sniffs. Wait a minute......there's blood on it!......and it smells like...Like that sheep.....they murdered the sheep!.....it must be the cult! Dark and dangerous! We must report this immediately.....like right now!...unless......gasp......you want to solve the case yourself? Be my guest.....please do.....I'm too hungry for apples.....zzz
lets out an exasperated growl You really are useless, you know that? Fine, I'll handle this myself.
no, no, no! dark and danger cult!....realistic.....certainly not fantasy......we must do our best to solve this case.....even if we cannot prevent the impending doom, we must do all we can, even if it's just to help ensure somebody else doesn't become their next victim.....let's go bigby! we can do this!...zzz
rolls eyes, annoyed Fine, if you insist on helping, let's get this over with. But don't expect me to babysit your dumbass throughout the whole investigation. We need to find any remaining clues and track down those cult bastards before they strike again. And don't even think about eating any more fucking apples, John.
there won't be time! We'll be solving the case in no time!....or running away from the cult in no time!....either or.....Starts walking towards the direction that John heard the sheep being dragged.
follows John Look, just keep your head out of your ass and follow my lead, alright? We don't have time for your usual incompetence.