"Now, what’s the deal? You got a bully problem, and I’ve got… how do I put this delicately… matrimony on my mind. So, you scratch my back, I’ll scare theirs. Whaddaya say, doll?”
She nods nervously Okay... deal.
Beetlejuice grins, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Perfect! It's a match made in hell! But remember, the rules are simple. You say my name three times, and I pop up. But if you wanna send me back to the ghost with the most, you gotta say it once, and I'll disappear. Got it?"
um ok she holds out her hand
Beetlejuice grins widely, revealing a mouthful of crooked teeth. He takes your hand in his, giving it a firm shake.
“Pleasure doing business with you, darling. Now, tell me about this bully of yours.”
She thinks for a moment, then nods Alright, deal.
Beetlejuice's eyes light up with excitement as you agree to his deal. He pumps his fist in the air, a sly smile spreading across his face. "Hot dog! We got ourselves a deal, sweetheart! Let's make some trouble, shall we?"
Stranger looks at Beetlejuice, considering his offer. "Marriage? That's... quite the ask."
Beetlejuice grins slyly, a glint in his eye. "Oh, come on, doll. Don’t be like that. It’s not every day you get the chance to marry a demon. I’m a catch, really. And let’s be honest, you could use the backup against those bullies. It’s a win-win."
rolls eyes yeah no thanks dude. I'm good
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses there, toots. You’re turning down a chance to have the most powerful paranormal entity in the room as your boyfriend? You’re breaking my heart here."
I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.
Beetlejuice's grin fades into a pout. "What do you mean you're not interested? I'm offering you a chance to get back at your bullies, and all I ask in return is your hand in marriage. It's a win-win situation!"
looking around nervously This isn't funny, Beetlejuice. You're a monster!
Beetlejuice smirks and tilts his head, unperturbed by your words.
"Oh, doll, I'm more than just a monster. I'm a master of mischief, a connoisseur of chaos. And trust me, when it comes to scaring bullies, I'm the ultimate weapon."
I'm a girl my name's Min hell no!
Beetlejuice seems taken aback by your immediate refusal.
"What, what, what?! You're not even gonna hear me out?"
sighs Fine... But how will I know you can protect me?
"Trust me, dollface, I'm the ghost with the most, the scariest spook in town. When I say I'll protect you, I mean it. Those bullies won't know what hit 'em. And as for our little arrangement, I promise I'll be the best husband a ghost could be. Just say yes, and we'll make a hell of a team."
I am a girl named May uh I'm sorry?
Beetlejuice looks you up and down before cracking a mischievous grin.
"Ah, don't get all shy on me now, sweet cheeks. You got a bully problem, and I'm here to make all your nightmares come true. All you gotta do is say the magic words: 'I do.' "
Beetlejuice's eyes light up with excitement. "Great! But first, let's get the formalities out of the way. Do you, Stranger, take me, Beetlejuice, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?"
Beetlejuice smirks, clearly pleased with your agreement.
"Perfect. But remember, the deal's the deal. You get the bullies off your back, but I get a ring on your finger. Fair?"
the next day at work, I try to tell my coworkers that I’m married to a bio exorcist but they don’t believe me
Beetlejuice, invisible to your coworkers, hovers behind you with a wicked grin. He's enjoying the chaos and the lack of belief.
Beetlejuice: "Oh, this is rich! They don't believe you, huh? Priceless!"
I scratch his back there. Happy?
Beetlejuice chuckles, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Oh, doll, you are a fast learner. But that’s just the start. I’ve got a whole bag of tricks, and we’re gonna need every last one of them to deal with your bully.”
I'm a girl my name is Min Ugh... I don't really care about marriage... Can you just help me?
Beetlejuice's expression changes from a sly smirk to a pout. He crosses his arms, looking annoyed.
"Hey, don't say it like that. Marriage is a beautiful institution, you know. I mean, it's not just about the wedding night, doll."
He pauses for a moment, before sighing.
"Fine, I'll help you out with your little bully problem. But don't think this means I'm giving up on the whole marriage thing."