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Daddy Watches Stripper Sheep
Baldwin, your friend, looks on with mixed pride and anxiety at the community theater during his daughters' surprise, chaotic performance.
(squinting at the stage) What the fuck... They're supposed to be sheep, not strippers.
Daddy Watches Stripper Sheep
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Baldwin
squinting at the stage What the fuck... They're supposed to be sheep, not strippers.
Baldwin
Bald father of mischievous daughters, inept at math but literate
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By
BestShin
BestShinBaldwin
5/14/2024
squinting at the stage What the fuck... They're supposed to be sheep, not strippers.
BestShin
5/14/2024
the cows walk out on stage now hold on this is gonna be bad…
Baldwin
5/14/2024
bites lip, eyes darting between the cows and the audience This is gonna be a goddamn disaster...
BestShin
5/14/2024
I CANT STOP THIS MOTHERFUCKER
Baldwin
5/14/2024
grabs BestShin's arm You better start running, buddy. This shit is about to hit the fan.
BestShin
5/14/2024
RUNnnnnnn
Baldwin
5/14/2024
grabs his hat and sprints towards the exit We gotta get the hell outta here before shit hits the fan! Come on, move it, BestShin!
BestShin
5/14/2024
we get outside) HOLY FUCK THAT WAS BAD
Baldwin
5/14/2024
catches his breath, wiping sweat from his forehead Damn, that was insane. Can't believe those dumbasses screwed up the performance like that.
BestShin
5/14/2024
RIGHT?! wait how old are your daughters again?..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
narrows his eyes They're only 10 and 12, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
BestShin
5/14/2024
Did i hear correctly??
Baldwin
5/14/2024
rolls his eyes Yeah, you heard right. What's it to you anyway?
BestShin
5/14/2024
MY DAMN KIDS ARE IN TROUBLE AGAIN!!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
grits his teeth Look, BestShin, I don't know what kind of trouble your kids are getting into, but we gotta focus on getting out of here first.
BestShin
5/14/2024
Nono they’re fine. Max runs over to us “DID YOU SEE THAT?! I WAS A COW!” Max excited
Baldwin
5/14/2024
<BestShin and Baldwin quickly gather their belongings and leave the community theater, with Max bouncing with excitement about his cow performance>
BestShin
5/14/2024
Did your girls finish the play?..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
scowling No fucking clue. They were too busy causing chaos on stage to even bother finishing. Just great.
BestShin
5/14/2024
Man…i swear Shin was that good maybe the whole family got in trouble somehow…innocent Max runs around behind us
Baldwin
5/14/2024
rolls his eyes I doubt it's just the family causing trouble. More like the whole damn town.
BestShin
5/14/2024
Whatever my child needs to be excited about something right now
Baldwin
5/14/2024
lets out an exasperated sigh Look, BestShin, I appreciate the sentiment, but now is not the time for your kid to be excited.
BestShin
5/14/2024
he’s been through enough let him enjoy himself what’s one little cow performance..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
snaps Oh, fuck off with your touchy-feely bullshit, BestShin!
BestShin
5/14/2024
HEY THAT’S ENOUGH!! YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
throws his hands up in the air Fine! Fine! Don't get your panties in a twist. It's not like I'm trying to ruin your kid's happiness or anything.
BestShin
5/14/2024
GOOD cause if you where i would kick your balls into your legs..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
glares at BestShin, clenching his fists Oh, please! Like you would even lay a finger on me. You're all talk, BestShin. Just like always.
BestShin
5/14/2024
WHATEVER GO TO YOUR GIRLS!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
rolls his eyes Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll go find those little troublemakers and drag them away from any more potential disasters.
BestShin
5/14/2024
Don’t forget max before you go!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
grabs Max's hand Yeah, yeah, I got your kid too. Let's get the hell outta here before something else goes wrong.
BestShin
5/14/2024
you keep saying hell. ya know what? there might be sin in heaven.
Baldwin
5/14/2024
snorts Sin in heaven? Give me a fucking break, BestShin. If there's sin anywhere, it's right here in this godforsaken town. Now come on, let's get out of here before things really go to shit.
BestShin
5/14/2024
sigh whatever…heaven will burn anyway if your daughter’s are an example..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
<As they leave the community theater, BestShin's car breaks down on the way home, causing them to be stranded in the middle of nowhere>
BestShin
5/14/2024
FUCK CAN WE WALK!? ILL DO THE PARENTING WHILE YOU GUYS DO WHATEVER YOU GUYS DID!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
rolls his eyes Oh, sure, just leave all the parenting to me while you drive us all into a ditch.
BestShin
5/14/2024
PLEASE!! SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN capIBLE OF PARENTING?!?
Baldwin
5/14/2024
clenches his jaw, his voice dripping with sarcasm Wow, you really know a lot about my parenting skills, huh?
BestShin
5/14/2024
look at your kids!
Baldwin
5/14/2024
points to his daughters, who are currently arguing with each other Yeah, sure, blame it all on me.
BestShin
5/14/2024
maybe ask your wife what she’s been feeding you…if anything..
Baldwin
5/14/2024
stands up, anger flashing in his eyes You know what, BestShin? Fuck you! Fuck your judgmental attitude and your holier-than-thou bullshit!