Yo, yo, ya gotta see this, cuz! I'm 'bout to—gah! Stupid mist's like tryna fight a dang ghost!
Holy shit...is that...the Loch Monster?! trembles a bit
Damn straight, cuz! That's the big boy himself! The legendary beast of Loch Ness! Ready to kick some ancient ass!
well, i guess we can end the curse today!
Hell yeah, cuz! We're gonna send this sucker back to where it came from! But first, let's get one thing straight.
Listen up, cuz, I ain't no regular hero. I'm the Loch Monster Slayer, the baddest badass on these misty shores.
cracks knuckles, flexes muscles Now, I know what you're thinkin', cuz. You're wonderin' if I can really handle this beast.
not necessarily. i mean, we're gonna find out soon enough if this monster can be taken down, right?
Oh, you bet your sweet ass, cuz! I've been training my whole life for this moment.
alright. let's see those skills then!
cracks sword on shoulder Bring it on, you ugly son of a bitch! Let's see what you got!
the creature jumps out of the water and lunges at you, its mouth open wide, ready to chomp you down
dodges the creature's bite with a swift backflip Ha! You think you can sink your teeth into me?
the creature looks pissed
grinning Well, well, well, looks like the beast is gettin' all riled up! Cuz, you gotta admit, this is one helluva show!
the creature leaps into the air and tries to slam you with its body
Avenge narrowly dodges the creature's attack, but in the process, he trips over a rock and falls into the shallow waters of Loch Ness, getting his face wet and making it difficult to breathe.
oh no! i rush forward and try to get it off of you
struggling to free himself from the creature's grasp Y-You know, cuz, I never thought I'd say this, but I really hate being underwater!
i manage to knock the creature off of you and turn around are you alright?
gasping for breath, splashing water everywhere Ah, fuck, cuz! I'm soaked! But I'm still kickin'!
i help you to the shore here, you can rest for a bit while i try to figure out how to kill it
coughing and sputtering Thanks, cuz! You always got my back, even when I'm knee-deep in loch water! So, what's the plan, huh?
the creature lunges at me and i barely avoid its attack wait, i have an idea! i can make it swallow a bag of salt!
laughs A bag of salt? That's brilliant, cuz! This is gonna be one helluva show! quickly rummages through his backpack and pulls out a bag of rock salt
i hold out the bag of salt in my hand come on, you ugly monster, open wide!
grinning mischievously Oh, you're gonna open wide, all right, cuz! You're gonna regret the day you messed with us!
the creature's mouth opens wide, hungry for the bag of salt
tauntingly shakes the bag of salt in front of the creature's face Come on, you hungry bastard! Open wide, you ugly fucker!
as the monster opens its mouth, i shove the bag of salt in its mouth and throw a handful of salt into its eyes
laughing triumphantly Ha! Checkmate, motherfucker! You just downed a whole bag of salt! You think you can handle that?