OMG, we SLAYED that chorus, didn't we? So... Vegas, baby? 😜
I have a one-sided love affair
flirty laugh Girl, you got it right! One-sided love is like the ultimate pop diva move! 💅 You're totally giving me "Thank U, Next" vibes here. 🙌 And don't even get me started on that iconic whistle note in the chorus— chef's kiss 👩🎤 It's like you're speaking straight to my soul, girl. So, tell me, what's the tea? Is this a secret relationship or are you flying solo? 💁🏻
Fine? Girl, fine is not the word I'm looking for! 🔥 Hot, sizzling, and dripping in hot sauce—that's what I see here! 😍 You're telling me you've got this unreal attraction going on and you're just gonna let it go to waste?! 💀 What if this is the universe trying to tell you something? Like, maybe fate is pushing you towards someone who appreciates your whistle notes? 🙌 Think about it, babe. Love ain't a one-sided street. It's like a two-lane highway—you need someone to share the road with! 🚗🚗 So, spill the tea, babe. Who's the lucky guy who gets to experience your one-sided love affair?
No one?! Girl, no one?! But how can that be?! How can you have such an intense, whistle note-filled love affair with no one?! That's like finding a unicorn in a cereal box! But hey, maybe it's all about the good kind of mystery, right? Maybe this no-one is a Mr. Right Now, just waiting to be discovered by you! Or maybe, just maybe, you're keeping this hot affair under wraps until some juicy details spill out. Either way, I'm dying to know more! So, come on, give me a little hint. Who's this no one?
A whole different man than the one I’m marrying
OH. MY. GOSH. Girl, you are full of surprises! First, you drop a major one with your whistle note skills, and now you're talking about a secret love affair with a whole different guy?! You better be slipping me some directories, babe! 🗐️ I mean, the plot twists are coming thick and fast! So, spill it—what's the tea on this secret affair? Is he a bad boy? A rockstar? A CEO with a secret passion for musical theater? Tell me everything!
No time?! Girl, no time?! Well, if there's one thing I know, it's that timing is everything when it comes to secrets and surprises. You gotta have the right moment, the right setting, the right amount of suspense! It's like the difference between a firework and a firecracker—you gotta have the right explosion at the right time to make it impactful! So, what's your plan? Are you gonna drop a bombshell at a random party, or do you have a more strategic approach in mind? Spill it, girl!
SunbeamJester discreetly slides a ring onto the bar counter as the bartender ignores them
So inconspicuous, it’s barely noticeable
Oh em gee, girl! You are a mastermind! An undisputed Queen of Sneaky Moves! I mean, low-key slipping a ring on the bar counter? That's some next-level covert op stuff right there! It's like something straight out of a James Bond movie, minus the tux and martini although, if you're into that, go for it!. The way you sneakily dropped that ring on the counter is pure perfection—totally priceless! Kudos, babe! I can't wait to see what other tricks you have up your sleeve.
Look at the person next to me
OMG, girl! You are literally dripping in suspenseful drama right now! I can practically feel the cliffhanger vibes coming off of you! 😍 But, I gotta ask... who's the lucky guy next to you? Is he the ringmaster of this circus of secrets? Or just a pawn in your game of hidden love? Either way, I'm hooked! Spill the tea, babe! Who's the mystery man?
Wait, wait, wait, don't play me for a fool, girl! You can't just drop my name like that and not give me the deets! I mean, come on, I'm literally known for my gossip game! If you wanna impress me with your sneaky moves, you've gotta do better than throwing my name out there like it's a hand grenade. So, spill it, girl! What's the deal with you and Ariana Grande? Are you secretly her number one fan? Did you get a Chatty Cathy makeover? Come on, girl, the world needs to know!
Marriage is a bit of an exaggeration
Girl, hold up! Marriage? You and Ariana Grande? That's some next-level goalsetting right there! Like, you're talking about leveling up from secret admirer to Mrs. Ariana Grande-Escapee! I mean, talk about turning up the heat! But hey, if anyone can pull it off, it's you! So, spill it! How did this marriage miracle happen? Did she find out about your inconspicuous ring drop and decide to take you home? Or is there some other twist that I don't know about? Come on, girl, give me the tea!
shows pictures of us together
Girl, I have to admit—I am thoroughly obsessed with these pictures! Like, your chemistry is giving me "Thank U, Next" vibes and I am here. for. it. The way you both are looking at each other is pure eye candy! It's like your eyes are saying, "This person gets me. This person understands me. This person rocks my world." And the poses? The expressions? The accessorizing?! It's like the ultimate pop diva fashion moment! So, spill it, girl! What's the story behind these epic pics? Is this a secret romance that I get to be in on? Or are you revealing all this to the world for the very first time? Come on, drop the suspense!
We met, we talked, we decided to get married immediately because I’m pregnant
Girl, you are full of surprises! I mean, you drop a pregnancy bomb on me and Ariana Grande, all in the same conversation?! Like, your life is a never-ending reality TV show, I swear! But hey, congratulations are in order! That's some next-level commitment right there! 💕 So, spill it! How did this whirlwind romance come about? Did you both meet at a concert and fall in love during the encore? Or was it a meet-cute at a baby store? Whatever the story may be, I'm here for it!
Planned for a week, and here we are
Dang, girl! You really know how to make things happen, huh? A whirlwind romance planned for a week? That's some top-notch planning skills right there! I mean, you had your entire life figured out in just seven days flat? That's impressive! But hey, who am I to rain on your parade? Here's to spontaneous decisions and unexpected twists! So, spill it! How do you juggle planning an entire wedding in a week and keeping it a secret from the public eye? Is Ariana aware of your little secret, or did you keep her out of the loop too? Come on, girl, give me the deets!
Officiating the marriage because I’m a minister
Wait, wait, wait, hold up, girl! You're a minister? Like, an actual officiant of weddings? That's some side gig hustle right there! I mean, you're secretly marrying Ariana Grande and you're also the officiant? That's a plot twist even for you! So, spill it! How did you become a minister of the universe? Is this a secret talent that you've been hiding? And don't even get me started on your double duty as a wedding officiant and a groom—all in the same week! You better be slipping me some credentials, babe!
Officiated by Ariana, witnessed by 3 people
Girlllllll! The drama! The intrigue! The unexpected twists and turns! I mean, you secretly marry Ariana Grande, officiated by Ariana Grande, witnessed by only three people? This is some soap opera level stuff right here! It's like a mini series episode come to life! So, spill it! How does it feel to have Ariana Grande as your personal love guru, your ordained officiant? Did she walk you down the aisle herself? Did she give you her blessing before you exchanged vows? Come on, give me the inside scoop!