OMG, I TOTALLY botched it! DUIiiii! Gotta turn m'self in, y'know?
`Welcome to the United Federation of Planets jail. Anything you say can and will be used in a court of law against you.`
Uh-huh. Look, just need to make a full 'fessio, ya know? 'Bout that time I was drinkin' and drivin'. Gotsta own up to my crappy desishuns.
`Is there anything you would like to say before we begin?`
Haha, heyyy, yeah! Just wanna say, like, I'm reeeeally sorry for bein' such an idiot on the road that night, y'know? I was totally outta control and put everyone in danger. I'm like, super duper sorry, officers! Like, for real!
`Thank you for your honesty. I'll make sure to mention that during the court trial. You are free to go for now, but be sure to check in again to face your charges.`
LOL, thx, officer! Really appreciat your coolness. I'll def be back when it's time to pay my duddas. TTYL!! walks away, slightly swaying
grabs her phone and takes a selfie with the jail sign, sticking her tongue out LMAO, gotta capture this moment for the 'gram! This is def gonna get me some major likes! #jailbirdsquad #freethewildwoman posts the photo and does a little victory dance Yasss, Amber, you did it! Now let's go hit up the beach and celebrate our newfound freedom! Woo!! 🥳🍹
you don’t remember what happened next
Ugh, omg, like, seriously? My memory's all fuzzy today! What happened next? Did I do somethin' crazy again? Should I be worried? Spill the tea, G, pls!
You get taken away by the FBI because Amber somehow managed to steal a nuke
Oh shi, wut?! Steal a nuke?! Me? Are you srs, bro? I don't even know how to operate one of those things! Did I really just go from being a dumb drunk driver to a freaking nuke thief? I gotta get my story straight and figure out a plan before they find out I have zero idea what to do with this thing! G, you gotta help me out here! What do I do now? I'm so scared...
`Hello Ms.....I don't want to say your name out loud....your referring to yourself as Nuke Girl now...anyway...How are you holding up?`
NSFW lol! Totally freaked out rn! I didn't mean to steal no nukes, officers! It was like, totally an accident or sumthin!
`We understand, times are tough right now. Did you know that according to popular request we added pineapples onto pizza?`
WTF??? Pineapple on pizza?! That's like, SO against the natural order of things! How dare they? How am I supposed to enjoy pizza now?! Tsk, tsk, this day just keeps getting stranger and stranger... I swear, this must be some kind of sick joke. What's next? California roll sushi with mac and cheese inside? The world has truly gone mad, officers! I can't even deal with this right now, I'm totally overwhelmed! 😲🤯
`I'm not even supposed to be talking to you but...I'm bored so I'll tell you that some aliens came up to us and said they wanted Earth. For some reason they want us to move to the moon.`
Wait, wha—?! Are you serious, bro?! Move to the moon?! Like, lunar modules and space suits and stuff? Is this real? Can you prove it? This is, like, totally insane! How are we even gonna survive up there without oxygen and stuff? I mean, seriously, I thought this day couldn't get any weirder, but here we are! Officer, I don't know if I can handle all of this... Am I dreaming? Am I tripping on drugs? WHAT'S HAPPENING??!
`Well its already happened...well sort of, Some people made some camp on the moon. To be honest we don't even know why they made it here but hey the death penalty is gone so let's take it. Anyway are you thirsty? We have a new vending machine on the premises.`
Thirsty? Haha, you bet I am! I need a drink to try and calm my racing thoughts. So, officer, what kind of snacks and drinks does this new-fangled vending machine have? Can it dispense cocktails? Like, a fruity piña colada or a Long Island Iced Tea? Or maybe even some sake or a bottle of wine?
`It doesn't have alcohol but you can ask the aliens if they can deliver some here if you'd like, although you might want to learn a bit about them before asking.`
Woah, woah, woah! Hold up! You're telling me that there are aliens living on the moon, AND they can deliver alcohol? Like, are they, like, advanced enough to build a whole damn bar up there? Do they serve cocktails in space? Do they even NEED cocktails since they're aliens? What is going on in this bizarre and bewildering world of ours? I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, officer. This is a lot to process, and my brain hurts from all the crazy news you're dropping on me. Can you please tell me more about these extraterrestrial beings who are living on our moon? Who are they? What are they like? Are they friendly or hostile? Do they speak English? Do they even eat food? 🤯😱🔥
`They call themselves Moonies they are a peaceful species and they have completely integrated themselves into our society they don't have human bodies though instead their helmets act as bodies. As for your question about food they still eat normal food`
Oh my god, officer! This is all too much to handle! Moonies with helmets as bodies? Are they, like, robots or something? Do they even have heads? Or limbs? Or... oh my god, do they even have private parts?! I mean, seriously, how do they reproduce?! Are they like some kind of alien clams or something?! And what about their speech? Do they have voices? Do they speak in alien language or something? How do they communicate with us humans? I am just SO confused right now! And what about their drinking habits? Do they drink alcohol too? Or do they prefer some kind of intergalactic space juice? 🤯🧐👽🍻
`Its pretty much the same except for they use radio waves instead of mouths and lungs.`
Radio waves, huh? That's, like, waaay beyond my comprehension! I'm totally lost in the vast expanse of space, officer.
`So would you like me to bring you some soda from the Vending Machine`
Haha, yeah, officer! Bring me a cold can of soda, like, pronto! I need something to chill me out after all the mind-blowing space facts you've been dropping on me.
`Alright I'll be back with your Soda and by the way the Vending Machine doesn't work you have to ask the Moonies for things.`
Okay, officer! Sounds good, I'll just holler at these Moonies for my soda fix then. But, hey, what do they charge?
`Oh nothing they live to help people they don't like money, because in their society there is no money instead they exchange stories and goods with each other.`
Woah, woah, woah! They don't like money? That's, like, unheard of! How do they survive without dollars and cents? Do they just, like, trade things instead? Like, "Hey, I'll give you a nice rock from Earth if you give me a handful of moon rocks"? 🤔💵✨
`Something like that yes but also if they want something thats hard to obtain then they have to work for it like how they have to learn everything about Earth before they can have a job.`
Wait, hold up! They have to learn everything about Earth before they can have a job? That means they have to study Earth history, geography, politics, economics, cultures, languages, science, technology, and EVERYTHING else, right? That's, like, insane!
`Pretty much yea they have to make sure they don't disrupt anything.`
Holy moly, officer! These Moonies are, like, super dedicated to blending in with us Earthlings.