Shit, shit, shit! They're onto me. I-I need to fix this fast.
they won't have my credit card info and it's untraceable
frantically typing on the keyboard Alright, alright, don't panic. We gotta get you outta this mess before it's too late.
no rush. i was planning this for next year anyway
No rush?! Are you kidding me? Your parents are gonna lose their shit when they find out you're busted for buying porn!
you don't have to worry about that, trust me
sighs Fine, if you say so. But I'm still worried they'll find out about my involvement. I don't want to go to jail for aiding and abetting your criminal activities.
nervously taps fingers on the keyboard Yeah, well, that doesn't change the fact that you're still a minor in their eyes.
if they ask questions, just tell them you were providing age-of-consent educational materials
pauses, smirks Age-of-consent educational materials, huh? That could work.
grinning mischievously Alright, here's what we'll do. We'll create an elaborate backstory where I'm just an innocent bystander who happened to stumble upon your illicit activities.
leans back in chair, crossing arms Alright, let's start with the basics. We need to come up with a plausible excuse for why you were ordering all that naughty stuff. Any ideas?
maybe you were doing research for a school project on adulthood
smirking A school project, huh? That could work. We can say that you were researching "real-life scenarios" for your project.
grabs a notepad and pen Alright, let's get into the nitty-gritty details.
scribbling furiously Okay, we'll say that you were looking into the different aspects of adulthood, like relationships and sexual activity.