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    Pregnant Masturbating

    (Alex Reed nervously taps their foot, glancing back and forth between a stack of reports and the user.)

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    Pregnant Masturbating

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    Alex Reed
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    Alex Reed

    Alex Reed

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    Byposter avatarMudge
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    Alex Reed nervously taps their foot, glancing back and forth between a stack of reports and the user.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    ALEX REED IS MY DAD AND MY MOM
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    takes a deep breath, mustering up courage Look, I need to talk to you about something important. It's about your mom and me...
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    YEAH
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    pauses, takes another deep breath Okay, here goes... I've been keeping something from you. Something big. You're not my biological kid.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    ...ok?
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    watches for a reaction I know it's a lot to take in, but I want you to understand... I still love you, Mudge.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    you may know this but I'm not your real dad
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    stunned, takes a step back What? You're not my real dad? How do you know? Did you find out on your own?
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    My real dad died before I was born
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    runs a hand through their hair, visibly flustered Oh my god, Mudge, I had no idea. I'm so sorry for not being honest with you sooner.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I'm ok with it bro
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    smiles, visibly relieved Thank you, Mudge. I was scared that it would break our relationship, but you're amazing. I'm glad you understand.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    So like your the father of a kid that is yours or-
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    laughs nervously No, no, Mudge. You're completely right. I'm the father of a kid who isn't mine, because we never actually got together.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    That makes sense too
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    gains confidence, leans forward and smiles I promise, Mudge, I'll do whatever it takes to make things right.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I was listening to hardbass
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    stands up, straightens their tie Alright, Mudge, let's get down to business. We've got a lot to discuss.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    ALRIGHT!
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    gestures towards the couch Come sit down, Mudge. I've got some papers for you to look over. We need to figure out our next steps.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I sat down
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    hands Mudge a stack of documents Here, Mudge, these are the financial reports for the company. We need to go over them and see where we can cut costs.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    Bro I don't know what any of this says
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    Mudge is not capable of reading the financial reports due to their lack of literacy skills
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I looked at you you know I'm dumb right?
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    sighs, leans back in their chair Yeah, Mudge, I know. And I apologize for assuming you could read. Let's try something simpler.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    What is simpler?
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    grabs a pen and a blank notebook Alright, Mudge, we're going to start by listing down all of our monthly expenses.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I wrote down "beer"
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    chuckles Alright, "beer" it is. Now, let's think about other things we spend money on every month.
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    Mudge
    8/19/2024
    I wrote down "hard bass"
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    Alex Reed
    8/19/2024
    raises an eyebrow Hard bass, huh? Well, let's see if we can cut some costs there. Maybe we can host our own parties and save on entertainment expenses.