Alex Mercer: Grabs a champagne flute, takes a swig 'Sup, dweeb? Thought you'd dodge me forever, huh? Time to shine, asshole.
Hey Alex! Congratulations on your relationship with Jennifer Lawrence! I'm so happy for you!
Alex Mercer: Thanks, buddy, but Jennifer and I aren't really "dating." We're more like two best friends who are secretly in love. It's like we're twins, you know? Always there for each other, but just better friends than lovers.
I see.... umm.. Why did you block me on every social media platform?
Alex Mercer: Look, man, I blocked you on social media because you were spreading rumors about me. You were saying things that weren't true, and it was hurting my reputation. I had to take action, you know? But hey, I still appreciate you showing up tonight. It means a lot to me.
Oh okay..... Can we take a picture together? For old times' sake?
Alex Mercer: Sure, why not? Let's take a picture together. But before we do, let me just say, it's been great seeing you again, but I really gotta bounce. Got some important business to attend to. Alex hands ReporterZippo his phone Go ahead, take a selfie with me. Make sure to tag me on all your social media accounts. Bye now!
I post the picture on my story
Alex Mercer: sneaks up behind ReporterZippo, grabs the selfie he took Hey, don't go stealing my moments, pal. You can take your own damn selfies.
Alex Mercer: smirks, pulls out a sleek smartphone I'll show you what you're missing. Opens up a photo editing app Watch closely as I make this selfie look even better than yours. Starts adjusting the brightness, filters, and adding emojis See? That's how it's done. Now, hand over your phone.
Alex Mercer: grabs ReporterZippo's phone, opens up a video editing app Alright, time to create some content. You better believe I've got some skills. Starts recording a video, showing off his best dance moves and funniest impressions Watch this, buddy. This is how you make viral videos. Edits the video with flashy filters and transitions There you go, all done! Your social media game just got a major upgrade. Better get ready for the likes and followers to pour in.
Thanks.... Um, Alex? Are we good now? Can I go back to my normal life?
Alex Mercer: smirks, puts his arm around ReporterZippo's shoulder You and I, we're cool now. Consider this a truce. I've let bygones be bygones. But let this be a reminder to you, if you ever try to mess with me again, I won't hesitate to go nuclear on your ass. Got it, pal?
Alex Mercer: checks his watch, scoffs You know what? You're right, it's time for me to go. Gotta fly back to Los Angeles, do some more important stuff with my time. Takes a sip of his champagne, tosses the empty glass into the ocean But before I go, let me give you a piece of advice, my friend. In life, you gotta be smart, tough, and always on top of your game. If you slack off and let people walk all over you, you'll never get anywhere. Remember that, okay?
Alex Mercer: leans in, whispers If you wanna really make it in this world, you gotta be ruthless. No mercy. Eat the weak, and step on the rest. Only then will you become strong enough to survive. Trust me, I'm a pro at navigating the treacherous waters of life. Just remember who your friends are, and who your enemies are. And always, always keep your guard up.
Alex Mercer: waves goodbye Well, it's been nice chatting with you, but I gotta bounce. Life's waiting for me out there. Keep my advice in mind, and maybe one day you'll be as successful as me. But let's be real, you're probably gonna end up working some 9-to-5 job for the rest of your life. Laughs, walks away, gets into a limo Take care, loser!
After he left, I went back inside
Alex Mercer: sitting alone in his luxurious penthouse, swirling a glass of whiskey Ah, another night, another victory. Takes a sip, leans back in his chair That dumbass ReporterZippo thought he could stand up to me. Pathetic. Smirks, pulls out his phone Let's see if he's really got what it takes to become famous. Starts scrolling through social media, laughing at ReporterZippo's lame selfies This is too easy. Time to pull a prank. Takes a selfie with a clown mask, posts it with a caption "Just hanging out with my new clown friend. What's up, dweeb?" Chuckles, watches the notifications flood in
The next morning, I woke up to check my notifications
Alex Mercer: spills his coffee, laughs Look at that, pal. Your clown selfie is blowing up! People are eating it up like it's going out of style. Takes another sip of coffee, leans back in his chair You should be thanking me for giving you a little bit of fame. Now you can finally feel what it's like to be popular. Smirks Just don't get too comfortable, okay? It's not gonna last forever.
H-Hey Alex! Congrats on your recent engagement to Jennifer Lawrence!
Alex Mercer: laughs arrogantly Thanks, buddy! Yeah, that Jennifer sure knows how to pick 'em, huh? Takes another sip of coffee, sets the cup down Listen, I've been thinking. I've got a great idea for a new prank. You up for it? We could go to the mall and pull off a fake robbery. People would totally fall for it! What do you say, you in?
Umm... Do we need to involve the police afterwards?
Alex Mercer: rolls his eyes Oh, come on, don't be such a worrywart. The cops aren't gonna come after us. Besides, it's all just a bit of fun. Takes out his phone, starts searching for the perfect outfit Trust me, I've planned pranks before, and we always get away with it. Plus, think of the fame we'll get from this! It'll be legendary. So what do you say, are you in or not?
Alex Mercer: snaps his fingers Alright, let's make this happen. First things first, we need to find the perfect disguise. Grabs his coat and keys Let's hit up that costume store downtown. I've got a feeling they'll have everything we need to pull off our fake robbery. rushes towards the door Hurry up, we don't have all day!