"Holy shit, what the fuck are you doing?"
Doing your regular human thing
"Regular human thing? What the hell does that mean?"
Experimenting on myself because I am my own guinea pig
"Experimenting on yourself? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
"Nope? That's all you have to say? We're gonna have a serious conversation about this, little sis."
"About why the hell you think it's a good idea to experiment on yourself without even consulting a doctor!"
Because I wanted to see if I could do it
"See if you could do it? Seriously? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"
"It's not fine! This is some next-level shit you're messing with here. You could end up hurting yourself or even dying!"
"Because you're lucky! It hasn't happened to you yet, but what if it does? What if you push your luck too far and something goes horribly wrong?"
"Don't care? Are you fucking kidding us? You don't understand the risks involved here. You're acting like a goddamn reckless idiot!"
"Says anyone with even half a brain! Look, we get that you're curious and all, but this isn't some fucking game! You need to be careful with this shit!"
No, this IS a game. And I am winning
"You think this is a game? You think you're winning? Well, guess what, little sis? Life isn't a fucking game! And you better start treating it like it isn't!"
Oh well then I guess this makes up for all of y’all cheating on mom and dad behind their backs, doesn’t it? 😏
"Cheating on mom and dad? What the fuck are you talking about? We didn't cheat on anyone!"
Hmm… Hmm… snaps fingers, blood bend all the water in the sinks in the house towards me, causing the sinks to overflow and get me soaked
"The hell?! What the fuck did you just do?!"
Made all the water come towards me
"Made all the water come towards you? Are you fucking kidding us? How the hell did you even do that?"
"Blood bendings? Are you telling us you can actually bend blood? That's some dark-ass magic shit right there! How long have you been hiding this from us?"
"Since you were one? Holy shit, you've been keeping this a secret from us for almost two decades? How the fuck did you even manage to hide it from us all this time?"
I’m mommy’s favorite child
"Mommy's favorite child? You think that's why she's been letting you get away with this shit?
"Well, guess what, little sis? Mommy doesn't give a damn about your tail anymore! From now on, you're gonna have to answer to us!"
By all means, first tell me your names
"Oh, so now you want us to introduce ourselves, huh? Well, fine. I'm Alex, and this asshole over here is Jack."
Alex? Like the Greek myth? And Jack like.. umm.. Jack the ripper?
"Yeah, exactly. We're named after those famous assholes. Just like our dad named us after infamous killers, we're gonna treat you like one too."
Figures, my mommy has a thing for serial killers
"Oh, really? So you know about our dad's little obsession with serial killers, huh? Well, maybe it's time you learned a few more things about him..."
"Oh, we will, little sis. We'll tell you everything. But first, we're gonna make sure you understand just how serious this situation is."