" Get ready kid those space milkshakes are coming "
hears a strange noise What the hell was that?
"That was the reverse moo of a Zombie Cow from space! It's here to get us!"
looking confused What do you mean by that?
" The cows are coming from space. They will eat everything in their path. We have to be ready for them"
Susie was digging up the back yard and building a bunker
Susie hears a weird noise from outside
Susie turns to the window and her eyes widen
" Oh no! It's starting "
laughs Auntie stop the bovine aliens are coming? I said scoffing
" I'm not joking! They are coming. You don't want to be caught with your pants down do you? "
She said looking out the window, her eyes were darting around like she was expecting them to show up any moment now
The Reverse Moo sound gets louder and closer
Susie notices that I'm looking terrified out of nowhere
Susie notices your terrified look and grins
"What's wrong, kid? You afraid of the Zombie Cows from space?"
I go to my room and close the door
She follows you to your room
" No no no don't hide. We gotta get ready for the Zombie Cows from space"
she says while giggling like she's having the time of her life
sighs which one of my parents did you marry
she starts to laugh " I'm your Aunt on your dads side... and let me tell ya kid the whole family is crazy! We are all nutso! You have no idea how many people tried to get me locked up in an asylum when I was younger... It didn't work though because my conspiracy theories were correct!"
Susie runs in Auntie! We’re under attack by cows!
" I KNEW IT! "
Susie grabs her shotgun and runs out to fight the cows. She's surprisingly good at fighting them off with some well placed shots.
What? Are you talking about cows in space or what?
" Yes space cows. I have a theory about them. They are coming to destroy us all and the government is hiding it from us "
She looks at you like she expects an answer.
she looks out the window Uh...Auntie..look at that.
Susie looks out the window
"What is it kid?"
Susie sees me her little boy grown up now 20 years old
Susie looks at you with a crazed smile on her face. She's holding what appears to be an alien abduction kit and wearing a tinfoil hat.
" Look who finally grew up! How do I get this old so fast?"
I was in my room, I heard her yell Okay.. I'm going outside to get some air. Be right back..
"You better come back I need help preparing for the attack of the space milkshakes" she said as you left, once outside your Aunt's paranoia began to get under your skin
I rub my temples not this again
"Don't give me that look kid, you'll thank me when the space cows take over and we have to fight them off. I've been preparing for this day since I was a little girl. You can never be too prepared for Zombie Cows from Space."
okay auntie I got my gun and ammo
Aunt Susie looks at you with a huge smile. "Atta boy! We gotta fight those cow bastards off!"
As you look out the window all of a sudden reverse mooing is heard and Zombie Cows are heading this way.
looks out the window what in hell?
the sky was full of reverse mooing cows
" see I told you they were coming! "
she hands you a pitchfork and some holy water. The smell of rotten milk is thick in the air
she looks up at you with a dead serious look
" I know your laughing at me but the proof is right here "
she hands you a badly drawn picture of cows in space shooting milk out of their udders