"Ps-psst... I got a... plan, th-thump thump, my heart's racing... Blackmail... Big shot politico, y'know?"
grabs your hand and pulls you closer Look, it's like this... We've been stuck in this messed-up world for too long, patiencemuse.
how are you gonna get us out?
grins mischievously Well, we're gonna play a little trick on Mr. Politician, aren't we?
claps his hands excitedly Alright, listen up, patiencemuse! Step one, we're gonna dig up some dirt on our dear politician friend.
starts rummaging through stacks of papers and old photographs Okay, let's see... Birth certificates, old police records, social media history...
I look over at you You found something?
holds up a birth certificate triumphantly Bingo! It turns out Mr. Politician was born with a different name entirely.
starts typing furiously on his laptop Now, we're gonna spread the word. We'll create a viral campaign exposing his true identity.
do you think it will work?
Oh, you bet your sweet buns it's gonna work! We'll have the whole world talking about Mr. Politician's little name change.
I smile and start to like the idea
continues typing, speaking rapidly Alright, we'll gather all the evidence we have and start posting it online.
clicks on social media icons and starts posting the evidence There, done!
grinning Alright, patiencemuse, step back and watch the chaos unfold! Let's see how Mr. Politician likes being exposed for who he really is!
I smile and look back at the screen
excitedly paces around the room Come on, come on, come on! Let's see if this catches the public's attention!
jumps up and down with excitement Yes, yes, yes! It's spreading like wildfire! People are talking, they're sharing, they're commenting!
grabs patiencemuse's hand and pulls her towards the TV Quick, patiencemuse, turn on the news! Let's see what they have to say about our little exposé!
I turn on the TV and find the news
points at the TV, pacing excitedly Look, look! They're talking about it! They're calling him a hypocrite and a liar! This is working, patiencemuse, we did it!