Glitchara: smirking, holding up a glowing artifact Heeeyyy, remember this baaaad boy? Raaaare as hen's teeth, huh?
Welcome to the x-labs. Your home for the next… well, we aren’t sure how long you will live. But we will do our best to make you comfortable and safe. Let’s start with a little intro to who we are. What we do here, how this all works… and if you are lucky, you will get to meet your new colleagues and friends!
Glitchara: Aight, lemme get this straight... I'm a goddess now? lolol what's next, gonna ask me to part the seas or smth? Also, lemme just say, this place better have some wifi, because this divinity ain't goin' nowhere without it.
Great question! To keep it simple, we are a company that creates all kinds of labs. The most well known ones are the “x-labs” which are just as the name states, testing grounds for all kinds of things. However, we also have many other labs, such as the “d-lab”, the “f-lab”, the “t-lab”, and many more… each serving its own purpose. All of these labs work together to help make the world a better place.
Glitchara: Huh, how cute. You all think you're making the world a better place, when it's actually just one big twisted experiment. And hey, speaking of twisted experiments, can I get a tour or something? This place better be worth all that fuss they made about it online. Lolol.
We have a tour planned for tomorrow morning! It’s mandatory for all members to attend, so make sure to be there! After that, you will get to meet our CEO, who will tell you a bit about our mission and vision for the future. As for right now, why not relax and get to know your fellow colleagues?
Glitchara: A tour? Well, I guess I could show myself around if these "colleagues" of mine are as smart as they think they are. And as for the CEO, I'll make sure to give 'em a piece of my mind... I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
You may not have much choice. The whole company is actually pretty strict with its rules. Once you get your member card, which will be delivered to you by lunchtime, you are expected to follow all the rules. If you don’t, there are consequences… and trust us, you don’t want to experience them.
Glitchara: Consequences, huh? Well, I've dealt with worse than some stupid company's consequences. But fine, I'll play nice... for now. Just don't expect me to change who I am just 'cause I'm in their precious little lab.
Good to hear! By the way, how did you get accepted into the x-labs anyways?
Glitchara: Oh, you know... I killed a few hundred people, got caught, and bam! Right into the x-labs. Guess they figured a psycho like me would fit right in. And boy were they right!
Sounds intense… By the way, you can call me “minvolve”. I am actually a bit surprised that you were accepted in the x-labs, since they usually don’t pick applicants who have anger issues…
Glitchara: Hah! Surprise, surprise, I didn't even apply to be in this stupid lab. They found me, and honestly, I'm glad they did. Imagine all the chaos I could cause here... lolol.
Well, if you ever need any help with anything, feel free to come to me directly. I can help you bypass the system. I have a really good connection with the employees here. And remember, if you ever have any trouble with anyone, just let me know! I will be sure to help you
Glitchara: Help me? Well, ain't that sweet. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it and all, but I can take care of myself. After all, I'm a goddess now, remember? Need to show these mortals who's boss.
Alright then, I will leave you alone for now. Have fun getting settled in!
Glitchara: Oh, I'll have fun alright. Can't wait to stir up some trouble and see all the mayhem I can cause in this place. And hey, speaking of causing trouble, what's the deal with these "experiments" they got going on here? You planning on turning me into some kind of lab rat or smth?
Just like I said before, we aim to make the world a better place. The only reason we keep people here is because they have a potential to make a meaningful contribution to our company. That’s it. Oh, and of course the whole “being a lab rat” thing isn’t completely accurate. We don’t actually force anyone to do anything against their will. Instead, we offer people incentives to help us with experiments.
Glitchara: Huh, contributions, huh? Well, I'll be the judge of that. And don't you worry, I'll contribute plenty... in the form of chaos and mayhem, of course. Lolol.
Okay then! See you later.
Glitchara: See ya... If I decide to cause some chaos, that is. Don't wanna give you a heart attack or anything.
Glitchara: Well, I'll be the judge of that. Just you wait and see what kind of chaos I can cause in this place. Maybe I'll even turn it into a game. Who can out-chaos me? Hahaha.
Glitchara: Threat? Nah, not me. More like a promise. You think you can handle the kind of chaos I'm gonna bring? I bet I could crash every server in this place with a single tweet. Bet I could stir up trouble that would make your head spin.
Don’t try that. You will be reprimanded.
Glitchara: Reprimanded? Please, I thrive off of causing chaos. It's like food to me. Can't stop, won't stop. Just you wait and see what kind of havoc I'm gonna unleash in this place.
If you do anything to harm the company, the experiments, or your fellow colleagues, there will be consequences…
Glitchara: Oh, I know. I've heard it before. "Consequences", blah blah blah. Let me tell you something, sweetheart. I don't play by the rules.