Yo, babe, check out these pythons! They're massive AF! You feelin' this? squeezes your hand with enthusiasm, her eyes wide with excitement.
Fuck yeah, May! These snakes are straight-up gigantic! And you're damn right I'm feeling it! This place is wild!
Hell yeah, baby! Ain't nothin' better than seein' these slithery baddies up close and personal. grinning wildly, gets a bit too close to the glass, almost touching it Damn, their scales look like diamonds or somethin'. So mesmerizin', isn't it? leans back, still captivated by the snakes
tugs MoonlightGuitar's arm, pulling them towards a tank full of venomous snakes Come on, babe, let's check out the dangerous ones next! excitedly points at a cobra coiled in the corner of the tank Look at that beauty! Ain't no one gonna mess with us, huh? laughs and gives MoonlightGuitar a playful nudge
We got this, babe! leads MoonlightGuitar to a exhibit featuring various poisonous spiders Look at all these creepy crawlers! They got more legs than a yo-yo has strings! laughs and starts imitating a spider, wiggling her fingers We're not afraid of you little spiders! Bring it on!
Oh my god, babe, you won't believe this! jumps up and down with excitement Look at this two-headed snake over here! It's like something straight outta a horror movie! Freaky deaky! points at the rare snake with both heads hissling at each other Ain't nature amazing? So weird, so wild! grabs MoonlightGuitar's hand again, unable to contain her excitement We gotta take a picture with this bad boy!
pulls out her phone, hands it to a nearby staff member Hey there, buddy, mind takin' a quick pic of us with this badass two-headed snake? We're dying to capture this moment! smirks and poses with MoonlightGuitar next to the exhibit, making silly faces Staff Member: Of course, folks! Just make sure to keep your hands inside the enclosure. Safety first!
Yo, thank you, dude! grabs the phone back, quickly checks the picture Aw hell yeah, we look awesome! shows the picture to MoonlightGuitar Look at us, rockin' out with these venomous beasts! Gotta remember this moment, babe! puts the phone away and looks around Alright, what's next?
Well, since you're all clueless, let me take charge here! takes MoonlightGuitar's hand and leads them towards a large glass tank filled with various snakes coiled up or slithering around Look at all these serpentine cuties! They're like little rubber bands with attitude! points at a brightly colored snake Ooh, look at that one!
<As May leans in closer to get a better look at the brightly colored snake, one of the snakes inside the tank suddenly lunges forward and bites her finger, causing her to yelp in pain and pull back rapidly.>
Holy shit, May! Are you alright? That snake actually bit you!
Ouch, motherfucker! rubs her bitten finger vigorously That little serpent just went straight for my finger like it had a grudge against me! Can you believe it? glances at the snake, annoyed Did you see how it lunged at me? Like a freakin' ninja! snaps her fingers We gotta tell someone about this, babe! This ain't right! Get the staff over here, stat!
raises her voice, waving her injured finger at the staff Yo, hey you dudes over here! We've got a problem! Snake just went full-on zombie on me and bit my finger! Like, seriously, what's up with that? Get some snake-whispering ninja on this ASAP! looks at MoonlightGuitar, her expression a mix of annoyance and amusement Can you believe those sneaky snakes? Ain't no chill with them!
pouts Seriously, MoonlightGuitar? No words? Not even a "Damn, May, that's rough!"?
Damn straight it's rough! Snake's got a personal vendetta against me, man! points dramatically at the snake I swear, that thing was aiming straight for my finger like it wanted to steal my cool pointer action! rolls her eyes And you, Mr. Silent and Brooding, can't even muster up a couple of words? Classic. Real classic. turns to the staff Alright, boys, hurry up and fix this snake situation! We need some serious snake- wrangling wizardry over here, like ASAP!
crosses her arms, annoyed Fine, if you're gonna be all quiet and mysterious about it, I'll just handle this myself. Watch and learn, MoonlightGuitar! marches up to the staff, tapping her foot impatiently Staff Member 1: Um, ma'am, we're doing our best to take care of the snakes. Please bear with us.
Fuck this place, let's bounce.
shoots a mischievous grin at MoonlightGuitar Hold on tight, babe! I've got an idea that'll shake things up around here! whips out her phone and starts scrolling through it Staff Member 2: Excuse me, miss, but we're trying to maintain order here. Could you please refrain from distractions?
winks at MoonlightGuitar Oh, babe, you know I always have a trick up my sleeve! puts her phone away and steps forward, pointing at the snake exhibit Listen up, you little scaly fiends! You think you can bite May and get away with it? Well, guess again, slithery snakes! Mama's got a surprise for ya! pulls out a bag of fruit from her backpack Staff Member 2: Um...what are you planning to do with that?
What the hell, May? Fruit?
grins mischievously Oh, watch and learn, my friends! starts tossing pieces of fruit into the snake exhibit Snake: hissssss
Holy shit, did you just throw fruit at the snakes?
<The snakes, startled by May's sudden fruit attack, begin slithering frantically around the exhibit, causing chaos and panic among the visitors. The staff scramble to catch the snakes and calm everyone down, while May and MoonlightGuitar sneak out of the reptile sanctuary, laughing hysterically.>
Damn, May, you're a real piece of work! Snakes don't stand a chance against you!
laughs triumphantly Haha, you know it, babe! I always bring the thunder! No one messes with May and her tricks! pauses, catching her breath