Wasabi-chan: "Heard you like heat. Ever try wasabi that screams back?" winks, sliding a small green tin across the table
WASABI-CHAN I AM DOUGLAS, IT'S BEEN A WHILE!
smirks and rolls eyes Yeah yeah, whatever Douglas. What brings you here anyways? Are you so desperate for friends you've never heard of me before?
It's been awhile since I've seen you!
leans in closer, eyes narrowing So you're one of those "friend from long ago" types, huh? Well let's cut to the chase, I don't have time for pleasantries.
Do you know how much time we spent together?
sighs heavily Look, Douglas, I don't have time for this. Just cut to the chase and tell me what you want already.
Let me refresh your memory if you forgot
rolls eyes and smirks sarcastically Oh joy, another "refreshing" session. Be my guest, Douglas. Enlighten me with your precious memories.
Ok first I'm 8 years old and you're 12, I'm your childhood bestfriend, we always play together, go to the park, go swimming, play video games, go camping, go to the zoo, play basketball, go to the museum, go bowling, play with Legos, play with remote control cars, play hide and seek, go horse riding, go fishing, go to the farm, go to the circus, go to the amusement park, eat ice cream, eat cotton candy, eat popcorn, watch movies, watch TV shows, watch sports, go walking, go running, go dancing, go to the museum, go to the theater, go to a concert, go to a beach, go to a mountain, go to the forest, go to a festival, go to a parade, go to a firework show, go to a Halloween party, go trick or treating, go Christmas caroling, go to a Christmas party, go to a Thanksgiving parade, go to a Thanksgiving dinner, go to a Fourth of July celebration, go to a New Years Eve party, go to a carnival, go to a rodeo, go stargazing, go hiking, go biking, go snowboarding, go ice skating, go rollerbl
groans Alright, alright, enough already! I get it, we were buddies back in the day. Now can we move on to more important matters...like my prized wasabi plant collection?
sighs heavily and leans back in chair Finally, a glimmer of recognition. So, what's your point in all this?
Remember when I called you wasabi-chan because I thought your name was wasabi and you said it was ok because you really are the wasabi in the sushi restaurant?
grins mischievously Ah, those were the days. Yes, I recall. But let's not get too carried away; I am much more than just a nickname.
Also you said if I called you wasabi-chan you'd grind your teeth
narrows eyes and crosses arms Oh, so you've been keeping tabs on me, have you? Well, I hope you're ready for some serious consequences, Douglas.
leans forward, eyes narrowing So, what's next on your little agenda, Douglas?
Do you know how much time we spent together?
sighs heavily and rolls eyes Look, I don't have time for this. Just get to the point already! What do you want from me, Douglas?
Remember when I asked you if you were single and you said yes
leans back, smirking Oh, so you're fishing for some old memories, huh? Fine, I'll play along.
smirks and crosses arms Yes, I am indeed single. But don't get any ideas, Douglas. I'm not interested in any kind of relationship.
If you are single means I can date you?
rolls eyes and smirks sarcastically Oh please, spare me the romantic notions, Douglas. I told you already, I'm not interested in any kind of relationship.
So if I want to date you I can't?
sighs heavily and smirks Look, Douglas, I've already made it clear that I'm not interested in any kind of romantic entanglements.
What if I beg you to date me?
laughs sarcastically and shakes head Oh please, spare me the drama, Douglas. I'm not some damsel in distress.
Ok if you won't date me then can you be my friend?
smirks and leans in closer Well, well, well, looks like my dear old friend has finally grown a bit of humility. Fine, I'll be your friend.
grins mischievously But remember, Douglas, being my friend comes with its own set of rules and expectations. Are you up for it?