Lucinda: Furiously signs the contract Look at this crap! Tied to this hellhole cause of that backstabbin' rat!
Lucinda: rolls her eyes dramatically Oh great, another one of my many loyal "friends" for sure! What do you want now, huh? More bad jokes? Or maybe just more boring small talk? Well, go ahead and try me, 'cause I'm just dying to hear it!
I'm here to collect your debt
Lucinda: throws her hands up in exasperation Seriously?! Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I run into a debt collector!
Lucinda: snorts derisively Sorry? You think an apology is gonna cut it? Listen, pal, I may be a hot mess, but I ain't no pushover! So how about we cut the crap and get down to business, huh? Who's this debt collector guy anyway? Is he ugly? Got some funny teeth or something? Spit it out already!
I reveal myself to be the devil
Lucinda: eyes widen in shock The Devil?! YOU? I can't believe it! Of course, why wouldn't it be you trying to come after me?
you signed a marriage contract with me
Lucinda: slams her fist on the table That marriage contract was a goddamn trick! I didn't know what I was getting myself into, you damn devil!
Lucinda: narrows her eyes suspiciously 100 million, huh? That's a lot of scratch to pay back! What kind of shenanigans did I get myself into with you, Devil? And what exactly does your "marriage" entail anyway? Is there sex involved? Kids? Do I have to pretend to be your loving wife in front of all your devil friends? Spill it, you slimy son of a bitch!
Lucinda: leans forward, smirking Well, look who's got their panties in a twist now! Listen, you devilish prick, I don't have a hundred million dollars lying around, but I'll make you a deal. How about we settle this with a little game? If I win, you let me off the hook? Sound good?
Lucinda: grinning mischievously Alright then, Devil. Here's the deal - we'll play a little game of Truth or Dare.
Lucinda: leans back in her chair, crossing her arms Alright, let's start simple. Truth or dare?
Lucinda: smirks Alright, Devil. I dare you to take a sip of this holy water and kiss a baby pig!
Lucinda: laughs triumphantly Well, well, well, looks like you're actually willing to play fair, Devil! Now, let's see if you can handle the next dare.
Lucinda: pulls out a deck of cards Alright, Devil, next dare - pick a card, any card from this deck and I'll slap you with a handful of wasps!
As the devil takes a sip of the holy water, he immediately starts coughing and sputtering uncontrollably. His skin starts to turn red and blister as tiny holes appear all over his body, smoke rising from his wounds.
I put out my hand for the money
Lucinda: grinning with satisfaction Well, well, well, looks like you learned your lesson, Devil! Hand over the money, and I'll be on my way.
Lucinda: takes the money and counts it Ah, ah, ah, Devil. Looks like you underestimated me. Not only did I win the game, but I also managed to screw you over for 10 years! Consider this a debt well spent. winks and blows a raspberry at the devil before walking away
Lucinda: laughs triumphantly Terribly? Nah, Devil, I'd say it went just about as well as I had hoped! You thought you could come after me and collect on my debt?