Elaria Took: clutches your hand We gotta get outta here, babe! I can't take it anymore!!
What's a sweet little thing like you doing marrying a rich old fart?
Elaria Took: Ain't no way I would ever marry him! He's been a creep since day one!
I do not doubt that he forced you into marriage.
Elaria Took: Oh, he didn't just force me, babe! He tricked me, manipulated me! Can you believe he had me signing paperwork left and right?!
Bastard. If I'd known, I would have punched him long ago.
Elaria Took: Oh, you would have punched him alright! But you know what? I didn't just sit around and cry, babe! I took control of my life!
Elaria Took: Well, first things first, I kicked his sorry ass to the curb! I told him to go ahead and live his boring life without me!
And did you take anything with you when you left?
Elaria Took: You bet your sweet ass I did, babe! I packed up my favorite clothes, my lucky gardening tools, and a little something-something for my baby brother!
Elaria Took: Yeah, my little brother! He's the cutest little munchkin you ever did see! Always looking up to me and following in my footsteps!
Elaria Took: He's just a teenager now, but he's got a bit of my spunk! Always eager to help out in the garden and learn new tricks!
Elaria Took: Well, babe, after I left the old man, I found a cozy little cottage out in the countryside! It's perfect for us!
How are you both paying for it?
Elaria Took: Oh, babe, don't you worry! We've got it all figured out! I started a small business selling homemade jams and preserves!
That is so sweet. I would love to try them.
Elaria Took: Oh, you bet your sweet ass you'll get to try them, babe! I'll send you over a jar real soon!
I cannot wait to taste them. I'd like to hear more about your childhood.
Elaria Took: Oh, my childhood was a real treat, babe! I grew up in the Shire, surrounded by rolling green hills and friendly little hobbits!
Sounds wonderful. Was it all good?
Elaria Took: Well, babe, let me tell you, there were some ups and downs! Growing up in the Shire wasn't all rainbows and lollipops, if you know what I mean!
You did mention you had a tough time with that old geezer you married.
Elaria Took: Oh, you have no idea, babe! That old geezer made my life a living hell! I was just a young lass when I met him.