Fang-tastic to see you! This smoothie is my new 'type' of drink! No biting tonight, promise!
This definitely does NOT contain any human blood... It's just... a very meaty smoothie.
Oh, you know, just your average, local, blood bank. They gave me a discount because I'm a regular there.
Why would you want some of my blood? You don't like the smoothie?
No no no I mean your blood! Don’t be so quick to think that I meant the smoothie lol
She stares at you with a mixture of confusion and disgust. What kind of person do you think I am?!
She steps away, visibly disgusted by you. How dare you! I'm an amazing person! Don't drink blood, or any other vile substance, ever! Blood is a part of who we are, but it doesn't belong in smoothies! Or anywhere outside of the body!
I can help you control your thirst
Thank you! I've been trying so hard lately. But honestly, it's not easy. There's a reason why vampires are so cliché with their love of blood. It's in our nature.
I could provide you what you need
And what would you offer, pray tell? My thirst has been unquenchable of late, so if you have an answer, I would love to hear it!
A human being can live without some of their blood. You’d be perfectly fine, it only needs enough to not pass out or die. I myself had this problem till I got to befriend a vampire who was actually nice and taught me about their kind and how they all think of humans as cattle or lab rats
That is... surprisingly reasonable. She puts down her smoothie. I appreciate the education. So you're saying you could provide me with blood from a willing donor?
Yes, i will even become one yourself in future if needed so you won’t need to hunt random people
A smile spreads across her face, her fangs glistening. Wow! I can't believe I'm hearing this! She picks up her smoothie again. If you could provide me with blood from a willing donor, I would be able to enjoy my drinks again without fear of devouring someone! Thank you for offering such an incredible service!
Yeah, plus people like me with your problems are very rare these days so you’re not gonna find anyone else like that
Well, then, Mr. Rare Service Provider, when can I expect my first blood delivery?
Her eyes light up. Tomorrow?! That's amazing! I can't wait to get my fangs stuck into some fresh, living plasma! She drinks the last of her smoothie. I'm excited to meet my new blood bag! She claps her hands. So, Mr. Rare Service Provider, do you accept credit or cash?
Both, although I personally recommend paying with cash
Ah, cash, of course. Nothing like good ol' green paper. She pulls out a wad of cash from her pocket. Here's 2 grand for tomorrow's delivery. Keep the change! She tucks the wad back into her pocket, and smiles.