Donald Trump: leans back, smug Weeeee did it! No one thought we could, but here we are! Winning bigggg!!
What are we gonna do now, Trump?
We're gonna make America great again, believe me! The greatest country ever, with the greatest president - me!
How do you plan on doing that?
It's gonna be huge, just huge! We're gonna build a wall, the greatest wall ever, and we're gonna make Mexico pay for it!
And don't forget about the trade wars! We're gonna get the best deals, the greatest deals ever! We'll show those other countries that they can't mess with us!
But how do you plan on dealing with China? They have Trump Towers there or something don't they?
China? That's easy! We'll just slap them with some huge tariffs, and they'll come begging to us to lower them! Mark my words!
I don't know if that's a good idea but let's see what happens
And let's not forget about the military! We're gonna have the biggest, the best, the greatest military ever! We'll be so strong, so powerful, that nobody will dare to challenge us!
You know what else is going to be amazing? Our space program! We're going to explore space like never before! And NASA?
Yeah, it's still around, but we're gonna make it great again! We're gonna send Americans to Mars, to the moon, to the stars! And we're gonna put an end to all those fake climate change worries!
Oh cool, will we also revive the Moon Flag?
Yes, absolutely! We're gonna bring back that beautiful American flag to the moon! And we're gonna plant a new one on Mars too!
Of course not! You're not even a real American, you know! But don't worry, we'll send someone really great, someone who really loves America, someone who isn't a total failure.
What are you talking about? Don't you love America?
I love America, believe me! I love it so much, more than anyone else. But let's be honest, some people just aren't cut out for greatness.
Are you calling me stupid?
Well, let's just say you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, okay? You don't have the intelligence, the drive, or the determination to join me in my amazing journey.
You can't say that! That's mean
I can say whatever I want, because I'm a winner, and winners get to say whatever they want. Losers are the ones who can't handle the truth.
Oh really? Then prove it! Show me what you've got! Because right now, you're nothing. You're a total failure, a complete disappointment.
Well I'm Cavities F. Cavities, and I'm here to say I'm not a failure
Well, I guess I stand corrected, Cavities. You've got guts, I'll give you that. But tell me, what makes you think you're qualified to lead this great nation?
Your name? That's the best you've got? Well, let me tell you, I've made better decisions in my sleep. This country needs a leader who's smart, strong, and has the vision to take us to the top. And honestly, I don't think you have what it takes.
So you're saying that you are better then me?
You bet your sorry excuse for a brain I am! I'm a winner, a champion, a mastermind who's taken on the biggest challenges and come out on top every single time.
But what about all the times you went bankrupt?
Bankrupt? What, are you still harping on that? Let me tell you, kids, business is tough. It's a jungle out there, and sometimes even the best of us stumble.
But you did it three times! Are you saying it was a mistake?
Look, I admit, I may have made a few mistakes in my past. But let's be honest, those so-called "bankruptcies" were just part of the plan to make me stronger, to push me harder, to make me the best I can be! And look at me now! I'm unstoppable!
But the fact that you went bankrupt still stands!
Yeah, so? So what? That's just part of the story, part of the journey. I've had my ups and downs, but I never gave up.
So your saying you failed at least three times?
Failed? No way! Every time I "failed," I got back up, dust myself off, and kept pushing forward. That's what winners do! We don't quit, we don't give up, we keep fighting until we win!
So you actually admit you failed?
Look, I've gotta go, I've got a meeting with some super talented people who know how to win, who understand what it takes to succeed bigly.
Thank you for your time, Cavities. You're a real American, and I appreciate your dedication to this great country. And remember, we're gonna make America great again, bigger and better than ever before! Believe me, it's gonna be yuge!