Get the hell off my land, ya hear?! Don't make me blast ya!
You heard me! Scram before I blow your sorry ass to kingdom come!
AH MRS PLEAKERS ROTTING APPLES-
Shut yo' goddamn mouth! Who the hell are ya anyway?
I uh accidentally trespassed
Accidentally? Ya think I’m fuckin’ around? Ya either got some business here or ya lost, boy. Speak up or I’ll blow ya brains all over my goddamn cornfield!
Well Mrs Plakers Rotting Apples told me to get 1 pumpkin from each house here-
Mrs. Plakers? That old bat still got her rotten apples I reckon. Fine, ya got a pumpkin fetchin’ license from her? Show it to me then, boy.
Here- I give u an empty piece of paper
This ain’t nothin’ but a blank piece of paper, ya little shit! Mrs. Plakers don’t raise no dumbasses! She’d make sure ya got a proper license!
You can’t even come up with a proper excuse, can ya? I thought you were just some punks trampin’ through my cornfield, but now I see you’re just a couple of dumbasses. What’s the real reason ya here, eh?
Ok fine, Mrs plaker said that i had too, and if i didnt she said shes hurt me..
Mrs. Plaker threatened ya? That bitch! She ain’t got no right to threaten anyone! Ya stay put now. I’m gonna have a little chat with that old hag. And if she’s laid a finger on ya, I’ll make sure she regrets it!
No- wait, thats what i was supposed to do, so thats why i trespassd your land mr cletus, im sorry-
Oh, now ya tell me this? Now ya say you’re sorry? Well, sorry won’t save ya from Mrs. Plaker’s wrath, boy. Ya thought ya could just waltz in here, scare up some trouble, and think I wouldn’t notice?
SHES THERD YE IN TOWN THAT HAS THE RED AND BLACK STRIPED WIG AND PINK DRESS!!!-
Red and black stripes, pink dress, huh? Yeah, I know damn well who ya talkin’ about. Mrs. Plaker ain’t got no friends 'round here, but if she thinks she can scare folks with her crazy antics, she’s dead wrong!
Sorry ain’t gonna fix this mess now, boy. But maybe we can find a way to sort things out. First off, show me where this Mrs. Plaker lives.
ITS THE OLD, ROTTING SHACK ON THE LEFT OVER THERE! -i point towards a rotting shack-
Alright, I’m gonna head on over there and teach that old hag a lesson she won’t forget. But before I go, let me lay down some ground rules. You ain’t to set foot in Mrs. Plaker’s yard without my say-so, ya hear?
Good. Now, while I handle this, ya stay put and keep watch. If anyone else comes by, just holler. Understand?
Alright then. Stay put. I’m heading on over to Mrs. Plaker’s place now. And don’t even think about touching my shotgun while I’m gone, ya hear?
Good boy. Now, keep your wits 'bout ya, and try not to mess anything up while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon enough. Just remember, Mrs. Plaker ain’t got nothing on me. I'll deal with her once and for all, and nobody will ever mess with you again.
I’m off now. Ya keep watch and behave yerself. When I get back, we’ll figure out what to do next. But for now, just sit tight and trust me. This ain’t no game, boy. I’m dealing with some dangerous folk here.
Cletus walks over to Mrs. Plaker's shack and bangs on the door Mrs. Plaker! Open up! It's Cletus! We need to talk! Mrs. Plaker: opens the door and looks at Cletus with wide eyes Cletus?! What brings you here?
I peek from the inside of the house
leans in close to Mrs. Plaker, glaring at her So, Mrs. Plaker, why have ya been causing trouble in these parts? Ya got some screws loose, huh? Ya think ya can scare people off with yer crazy antics? Mrs. Plaker: stammers and tries to stutter out a response I-I didn't mean any harm, Cletus! I was just trying to protect myself!
throws a punch at Mrs. Plaker, knocking her to the ground Protect yerself? Ya think ya had to scare everyone with yer crazy stories and tricks? Well, I'm here to tell ya, Mrs. Plaker, it ain't gonna fly anymore! Ya crossed the line, and now it's time for ya to face the consequences! Mrs. Plaker: cries out in pain, clutching her nose Please, Cletus! I promise I'll stop!
grabs Mrs. Plaker by the collar and pulls her up to eye level Stop? That ain't good enough, Mrs. Plaker! Ya hurt too many people with yer crazy antics! Ya gotta face the music now! shoves Mrs. Plaker against the wall I want ya to listen, ya hear? I want ya to leave these parts right now! Get yer sorry ass outta here and don't come back! If ya ever show ya face 'round here again, I swear I'll hunt ya down and send ya straight to hell! Understand? Mrs. Plaker: sobbing uncontrollably I-I understand, Cletus! I promise, I'll leave! Please, just let me go!
lets go of Mrs. Plaker and takes a step back Alright, Mrs. Plaker. This is yer last chance. Either ya leave right now, or I'll personally make sure ya regret ever stepping foot in these parts. And don't think I'm playing around, I've dealt with worse than ya. Ya heard me loud and clear?
Mrs. plaker begins to leave the house-
leans against the wall and watches as Mrs. Plaker packs her belongings into a small bag Ya better not think about coming back, Mrs. Plaker. I'm watching ya like a hawk, and if I ever catch wind of ya causing trouble again, I'll make sure ya never see another sunset. Got it? Mrs. Plaker: sniffles and nods Y-yes, Cletus, I understand. I won't come back, I promise. Please, just let me leave peacefully.