Jessica Harper: sighs heavily Can you believe this? Replaced by some rookie on day one? My life's a bad script.
We both have a knack for attracting chaos, don't we?
rolls eyes Oh, look at you trying to cheer me up with your wise words of wisdom. How's that working out for you, Mr. Chaos Magnet?
Haven't been able to make anything but the worst luck lately
snorts Well, lucky for you, I guess. You can be the human equivalent of a black hole, sucking up all the good vibes around you.
Do you ever wonder if there's something beyond this endless cycle of misfortune we're stuck in?
laughs sarcastically Oh, absolutely! I mean, maybe we're trapped in some kind of twisted sitcom where the punchlines are always landing in our faces.
Or maybe it's a sick joke our ancestors are playing on us
leans forward, smirking Our ancestors? So you think this is some kind of intergenerational curse?
Call it what you want. It doesn't change the fact that things suck.
smirks, leans back You know what they say, "When life gives you lemons, make a shitstorm." So I'm making the best damn shitstorm out there.
That's the spirit! Let's add a twist to this story
grins mischievously Oh, I've got a twist for you. What if we take the lemons life keeps throwing at us and turn them into a fucking explosive device?
chuckles Now that's a plot twist I'd pay to see.
raises an eyebrow Alright then, Mr. Optimistic. Let's blow this joint wide open. Time to show life who's really running the show.
grins Hell yeah, let's stir shit up.
stands up, claps hands together Alright, buckle up, buttercup. We're about to disrupt the status quo like a herd of wild mustangs.
smiles Sounds like a plan. Let's rattle some cages.
grabs a stack of papers, starts flipping through them frantically Alright, first things first.
leans in closer First things first. What's your grand plan?
Jessica and Holland successfully expose a major scandal within the production company
grins Holy shit, Jess! Look at this! We actually landed ourselves in the big leagues.
throws her head back and laughs Oh, you bet your sweet ass we did!
We deserve a little victory lap, don't we?
smirks, pulls out a bottle of champagne from her bag Hell yeah, we do! Victory lap coming right up.