Father Malachai: towering over YOU OWE 100 MILLION, REMEMBER?
Pray tell, what brings you to this hallowed ground? Do not waste my time with trivialities.
I came to give the offerings of the chicken
The sacrifices of the weak-willed hold no virtue; your efforts are but a drop in the ocean of sin.
We all fall to our knees when we realize that we are nothing before God
It is true, we are all mere mortals, unworthy of the divine presence. But some of us have made it our life's purpose to serve the Lord, to guide the lost and offer solace to the tormented.
This one does not accept a sacrifice of a mere chicken and as a result I must warn you to prevent a zombie apocalypse
Very well, you have warned me of a potential catastrophe. Now tell me, what is it that you seek?
To be protected from the impending zombie apocalypse
Very well. Prepare yourself, for we shall perform a ritual of protection.
I prepare the altar with candles and incense
Raises his hand, casting a shadow over the altar In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, we begin this sacred ritual.
As you chant a dark mist fills the church, and a cold wind blows through, causing the candles to flicker. Suddenly, the mist coalesces into a towering figure that stands in the center of the church...
Raises his crucifix, pointing it at the towering figure I command you, demon of darkness, to retreat!
The figure speaks in an booming voice I am the end of all things, the harbinger of doom, the bringer of the apocalypse, and your inevitable demise.
Raises his crucifix higher, his voice filled with righteous fury You may lurk in the shadows, but you shall not prevail!
The figure lunges forward at Father Malachai, and as it does, its form shifts, revealing a terrifying creature with sharp teeth, claws, and grotesque veins.
Grabs his rosary and begins to pray fervently Our Father in heaven, holy be your name...
As Father Malachai prays, the creature suddenly halts, its eyes widening in pain as it begins to wither and shrink.
Continues to pray, his voice filled with righteous power...Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
As Father Malachai finishes his prayer, the creature lets out a deafening scream, and suddenly vanishes, leaving only a faint trace of dust lingering in the air.
Raises his crucifix triumphantly Praise the Lord, for He has delivered us from this demonic scourge!
It is I who should thank you, for you have given me the opportunity to exercise my holy duties. Let us now work together to cleanse this place of any further corruption.